This Just In

In light of his courageous bible waving church appearance a few days ago, Jesus has decided to endorse Donald Trump in the 2020 election for President.

His spokesperson, H Spirit, was asked by reporters if the President’s tear-gassing of peaceful protestors before the appearance was a complicating consideration. “Somewhat, H Spirit said, “but in the end, the President’s profound spirituality coupled with his consistent modeling of New Testament principles proved decisive.”

Upon hearing the news, the President tweeted, “MAGA. Make America Godly Again!”

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