Get Your Resolutions Here!

The stars aligned on New Year’s meaning the home-from-college daughters were both present for dinner. Afterwards we somehow ended up sitting in the family room visiting. I took advantage of this rare opportunity to tell my wife and daughters their New Years resolutions. Just one more thing I’m really good at. And it’s way more fun to resolve things for other people than one’s self. Someone at the LA Times knows this already. More evidence I’m the cutting edge.

Here’s some more resolutions:

• Citizens of the Greater Olympia-Tacoma area—to ACCELERATE when getting on the freeway.

• Fox News—to be fair and balanced.

• Mr. Backyard mole—to burrow under the street to Courter’s front yard.

• Costco (which just raised the price of pistachios to $17+)—to restore the traditional price of 3 lbs of pistachios.

• Dan, Dan, the Transpo Man—to show Ron compassion when he injures himself.

• AAPL—to come out with a large iPhone for the aged, a wrist computer, and a television.

• The Labradude—to deliver the paper to our front door, not Chole’s.

• Downtown Oly hippy theatre—to purchase and install new seats.

• College students—to spend the money for the planned tatoo on a stock index mutual fund instead.

• The Briggs YMCA aqua-exercisers—to wait your turn.

• Billy Jean King—to gay up the Sochi Winter Olympics.

• To you—to join in all the resolution-making-for-others fun.

 

 

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