The Psychological Costs of Over Parenting

In a former life it seems now, my bethrothed and I watched our pre-teen daughter play a soccer double header. In the rain, temp in the mid 30’s fahrenheit, my down jacket losing the battle with the elements. More accurately and problematically, we watched her teammates play a double header. She saw a few token minutes of action. I wasn’t happy, but Mom was HOT. Desperately wanted to talk to the coach. I counseled not doing anything, and for once in our 28 year history, my advice proved wise.

Partly because it wasn’t as upsetting to her. More importantly, by not doing anything we created space for her teammates, who were also upset that she didn’t get more playing time, to rally around her. They worked it out. Hard feelings dissolved. She ended up a little more resilient, independent, ready for more consequential hardships to come.

A simple parenting story or as this excerpt from How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success by Julie Lythcott-Haims (via Slate) suggests, a key to positive, long-term mental health?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s