Cincinnati—You’re On The Clock

The National Football League Draft combine is taking place right now in Indianapolis*.

Everyone knows the key to success in the NFL is having an elite quarterback. Everyone also knows the key to being an elite quarterback is having big hands.

And so, Cincinnati faces a decision that could transform their franchise—Burrows or Byrnes?

Burrows was decent during his final season at LSU—60 touchdowns to 6 interceptions. But when it came to pickup basketball at UCLA’s John Wooden Center, Byrnes was an early 80’s legend. Among other things people on campus remember from his play was the way he’d palm the ball like a shorter, younger, whiter Connie Hawkins.

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Byrnes easily palmed the ball because he has large hands. Burrows—9″. Byrnes—9.75″. Cincinnati’s dilemma is there’s not a lot of football tape of Byrnes since he retired to golf after whiffing a tackle in the eighth grade in Cypress, California. That was on the coach though because the young phenom told him that he was “. . . born to quarterback, not cornerback.”

People in Kentucky, Ohio, and Southern Cal still reminisce about his after school pick-up quarterbacking. It is Cincy’s bad luck that all of that was before pocket video cameras, GoPros, and drones.

Will Cincy go with the guy who is anxiously waiting for the iPhone SE2 so he can more easily grip it or the guy who can palm an 11″ iPad? We won’t know until April 23rd.

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*President Trump, that’s in Indiana.

2 thoughts on “Cincinnati—You’re On The Clock

  1. Dude – Your photographic evidence “palming” an 11″ iPad would be impressive if you were NOT “palming” it width-wise which, through my extensive scientific research, I have determined is only 7.02″ – According to an in-depth “Connie Hawkins” book I read many years ago (the title escapes me) Mr. Hawkins could “palm” a standard dinner plate. Show me that pic sucka!

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