Things were looking up. . . a return of electricity, a comeback UCLA basketball victory against Arizona State, a sharp decline in ‘rona cases, then The Former Guy had a really bad day in the courts which he took out on us with this opening paragraph of a longer statement.

“This investigation is a continuation of the greatest political Witch Hunt in the history of our Country, whether it was the never ending $32 million Mueller hoax, which already investigated everything that could possible be investigation, “Russia Russia Russia,” where there was a finding of “No Collusion,” or two ridiculous “Crazy Nancy” inspired impeachment attempts where I was found NOT GUILTY. It just never ends!”

The mind whirls. 1) Why capitalize Witch Hunt? 2) Why capitalize Country? 3) Why “possible be investigation” instead of “possibly be investigated”? 4) Who repeatedly quotes themselves? 5) Why, oh why, the exclamation point?! Trust me on this, it doesn’t make you look any younger.

It appears all of the Former Guy’s writers have abandoned him and he doesn’t know how to use spell check. Just when we thought it was safe to return to normal life, our writing sensibilities are in for one of the roughest patches in our nation’s history. Hide the children.