It Was a Good Week

A sign that you may be slipping. You can’t find where you wrote about our need for more fist fights in the humble blog’s archive.

Everyone’s lamenting the decline of the (dis)United States this week all because one Congressman allegedly elbowed another in the kidney and one Senator proposed fighting the Teamsters President during a formal hearing after the Teamsters President called the Senator a “clown” and “fraud” on social media before adding, “You know where to find me. Anyplace, anytime cowboy.”

That is good stuff. But it got even better.

The Senator replied, “Sir, this is a time. This is a place. You want to run your mouth? We can be two consenting adults — we can finish it here.”

I like the emphasis on both parties consenting. There has to be some sort of code. Fisticuffs should never be forced.

“OK, that’s fine. Perfect,” the Teamster President responded.

“Well, stand your butt up then,” Senator taunted, with Teamster President telling Senator to do the same.

Then, it was all RUINED by a Vermont Socialist who went all schoolmarm on his colleague.

Here’s what Senator Byrnes would’ve said if he was chairing the hearing.

“Thank you for not shooting at each other and risking not just your lives, but innocent bystanders lives. We should all take pride in the fact that no one died here today. Thank you to the gentleman from Oklahoma and the gentleman from the International Brotherhood for illustrating that some forms of violence are better than others. Similarly, we should all show some gratitude to the Former Speaker for opting to elbow his colleague in the kidney instead of shooting him. Clearly, we are evolving, maybe not as fast as some would like, but evolving all the same.”

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