The fam and I went to a former students wedding near Portland recently.  It was one of the first times we’ve spent an extended period of time together since returning from Europe and we had fun.  

• A and J chose to spend five hours in a Honda Civic with their parents in order to attend the wedding of a person they didn’t know which was further confirmation there’s a scary strong link between females and weddings.  

• The fam clearly dug the artistic way I used my water bottle as a microphone and the Mick Jagger-like way I rocked the beat while doing 70 m.p.h. on the I-5.  Akon and Ron.  Of course it’s hard to truly cut loose when the fifteen year old with the learner’s permit is reciting traffic regulations from memory every fifteen minutes.

• I learned J wants to get married outside in a garden.  When I started to guess possible suitors, she shot me a scathing look and explained to her mom, “His record so far (at keeping secrets) isn’t good.”  At present, A has bohemian sensibilities, and would like to get married in a older, rustic church, ala the one in Mama Mia.  I see flowers in her hair and lots of henna.  

• While sitting at the reception waiting for the gun to go off for the race to the front of the buffet line, I came up with a brilliant new approach to wedding gifting that creates an incentive for couples to stay together.  At the wedding I give the happy couple a card that has the following note in it: “In lieu of a gift, I have invested what I would have spent on your gift, $100, into a 10 year certificate of deposit.  If you two lovebirds are still married in 2018, I will cash in the CD, buy you a gift for the new total, and mail it to you a few days before your tenth wedding anniversary.”  Half of you were leaning towards thinking I’m psycho, now there’s no doubt.  The other half is thinking, “Dang, I’m going to do that, but I’m investing in a 20 year certificate of deposit.”  It’s that second group and I that are going to slow the divorce rate.

• The bride, my former student, grew up in the church where the service was held and the priest had been at the church for a long time, yet in the homily there wasn’t a single reference to her younger years or to how the bride and groom met, nuthin’.  Just some references to some cartoons, the importance of a sense of humor, and I present you. . .  Me thinketh the priest went to the file cabinet and pulled the “Marriage Cermony” folder.  Critiquing priests is admittedly risky business, but I have done at least as much thinking about religious leadership as I have youth sports, so I feel another series brewing.  So, after a final youth sports series post, beware the religious leadership post or possibly, if I’m not struck down during a freak lightening storm, the religious leadership series.