You know the deal, you can can invite any eight people from the past or present. Because you’re a more substantive person than me, you go for spiritual insights—Jesus, Ghandi, the Dali Lama, Mohammed—and in-depth discussion of social change—MLK Jr., Jane Adams, Nelson Mandela, and Mother Teresa (a two-fer).

I want to laugh so I’m inviting Jonathan Goldstein (love listening to Wire Tap), Kenny Mayne (love watching Mayne Street), Tina Fey, Stephen Colbert, Chris Rock, Scott Seaman, and Jon Stewart. I think Goldstein, Fey, Rock, and Seaman write all their own material, but I’m unsure of Mayne, and based on the writers’ strike, it’s obvious Colbert and Stewart are writer-dependent. So the eighth seat will be reserved for one writer of their choice who I’ll seat between Colbert and Stewart with notepad and pen. 

Stewart (or more likely one of his writers) on Mark Sanford, South Carolina’s Appalachian Trail loving governor, “Another case of a conservative politician with a liberal penis.” That’s what I’m talkin’ about.