Who Are You?

Social gathering with ten people, eight know one another, two don’t. You’re one of the eight. Do you 1) talk exclusively with the other seven “insiders” without even really recognizing the two new people? 2) talk exclusively with the other seven insiders while conscious of the two disconnected people (who haven’t found each other)? 3) socialize mostly with the other seven outsiders, but at some point, briefly introduce yourself to one or both of the newbies? 4) realize early on that two people are new and consciously choose to spend the bulk of the time getting to know one or both.

I believe most people are predisposed to be 1’s or 2’s. I’m a 2 sometimes and a 3 others. My better half is a full-on 4 and that’s one of the things that I love about her.

2 thoughts on “Who Are You?

  1. I would have to say that I am a 3 often, and a 4 semi-often. I hate to see other people feel uncomfortable in a social situation, especially when I so often do!

    Interesting question!


  2. Hi Ron.

    Who am I?

    I am definitely a 1 or a 2, especially in the situation you describe.

    I’m pretty good at “striking up conversations” out of the blue with pretty much a lot of people—maybe I even have a talent for this. But these would be strangers I might encounter usually when I am out with my dogs. Or maybe even at the grocery store, where I just might bond over fresh produce with whoever happens to be standing across from me.

    But scoping out the new faces mingling with the insiders isn’t something I’d do, except if I “bumped into them” through the course of the evening. I prefer to wait to see who these people are, presented to many people, as opposed to presented to me. Additions to any group can often change the dynamic of that group. Sometimes the newbies even dislodge the weakest links. I guess I still carry a hangover from high school when sometimes I was that weakest link.

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