Why I Dig Holden Village

Miss me much? I spent four days at Holden Village last week. Near the end of our visit the Good Wife said, “That was fun!” To which I replied, “It’s always fun.”

1. I get to watch the Gal Pal try to make a reverse layup. This is always a highlight. I confess that’s my go to move when I’m down a letter or two in “HORSE”. The GP is deadly from the free throw line so sometimes I find myself needing to make a come-back. She knows it’s coming and there’s nothing she can do (except practice in private before the next visit).

2. In ping pong, I get to chip away at the Gal Pal’s backhand. It’s an unrelenting assault on her weaker stroke. 21-7 if memory serves correct.

3. It’s the perfect place for introverts like me to meet people because it feels like everyone else is extroverted. In actuality, it’s just the set-up. Communal dining, classes, outdoor furniture, close living quarters. Even the socially challenged like me can’t help but meet people. Some of my favorites this time:

  • a 14 year old from Ventura, CA who put chocolate chippies on top of his cheerios
  • an 80 year-old grandma from Bellevue who arranged for me to run with her 14 year old granddaughter*
  • the 14 year old granddaughter who was a total delight, she chatted me up the whole 2.5 miles and then made me want to adopt her when she asked, “What was our pace?!”
  • a dude my age who happened to have two PhD’s, one in music and one in epidemiology, I did not let his USC sweatshirt deter me from picking his considerable brain
  • a guy from my church who was a journalist for 20 years without a college degree and now is Washington State’s Department of Transportation media guy, I never would’ve guessed he teaches yoga and considers himself successful when people fall asleep in his class

4. When at Holden, I’m a serious reader. Read, hike, eat, meet someone, beat Lynn at something, read, repeat. I finished Ta-Nehisi Coates’s Between the World and Me and half of Killers of the Flower Moon. Of course, with some New Yorker thrown in for good measure.

5. There’s something about “three hots and a cot” that makes me more appreciative of my normal quality of life. It’s also very nice not to have to drive anywhere. The whole village is walkable in about two minutes.

6. Unplugging is a reminder that we should control our personal tech, not let it control us. It’s a very helpful reminder that we don’t have to succumb to anyone’s expectations that we’re always on. We are free to pick and choose when to plug in.

7. Without work and household responsibilities limiting us, it’s nice to have extended conversations with the Good Wife, about all kinds of things. It’s like a marriage retreat without the obligatory lectures and group sessions. Most people in modern societies fill their lives with things that confound extended conversation. Almost everything is emptied out at Holden.

8. I get to watch the Gal Pal jump into a very cold Lake Chelan from the boat ramp right before our departure. So entertaining, she drew a nice crowd. Proud to say I maintained my objectivity, awarding her an 8/10, the two point deduction was for holding her nose.

9. The scenery is decent.

Holden Hike.jpg

* When I told The Good Wife that I had a running date with a 14 year old girl, she said something to the effect of, “I can’t believe her grandma trusted you.” To which I said, “Thanks a lot!” There’s a lot more reverse layups in her future. Left-handed even.

 

Friday Assorted Links

1. University of Georgia prevents professor from including “stress-reduction policy” in syllabus.

2. A new kind of classroom—no grades, no failing, no hurry.

“The only goal is to learn the material, sooner or later. . . . Mastery-based learning, also known as proficiency-based or competency-based learning, is taking hold across the country.”

What goes around, comes around:

“Mastery-based learning can be traced to the 1960s, when Benjamin Bloom, a professor at the University of Chicago and an education psychologist, challenged conventional classroom practices. He imagined a more holistic system that required students to demonstrate learning before moving ahead. But the strategy was not widely used because it was so labor intensive for teachers. Now, with computer-assisted teaching allowing for tailored exercises and online lessons, it is making a resurgence.”

The goal:

“We want to change the conversation from ‘I’m not successful at this’ to ‘This is where you are on the ladder of growth.’”

3. Deep cleaning is a deep challenge for L.A. Unified School District.

4. How mental-health training for police can save lives—and taxpayer dollars.

“. . . the culture in the police world is not to acknowledge fear, stress, or weakness—and if officers do, they can be pulled off the street and put on a desk. Police who are suffering or dealing with PTSD may be more prone to hair-trigger reactions, which in turn can mean more tragedies. Those who’ve gone through the Miami-Dade program have been more willing to recognize their own stress and to seek help.”

4. Why women had better sex under socialism.

“As early as 1952, Czechoslovak sexologists started doing research on the female orgasm, and in 1961 they held a conference solely devoted to the topic,” Katerina Liskova, a professor at Masaryk University in the Czech Republic, told me. “They focused on the importance of the equality between men and women as a core component of female pleasure. Some even argued that men need to share housework and child rearing, otherwise there would be no good sex.”

Pardon me while I vacuum.

Agnieszka Koscianska, an associate professor of anthropology at the University of Warsaw, told me that pre-1989 Polish sexologists “didn’t limit sex to bodily experiences and stressed the importance of social and cultural contexts for sexual pleasure.” It was state socialism’s answer to work-life balance: “Even the best stimulation, they argued, will not help to achieve pleasure if a woman is stressed or overworked, worried about her future and financial stability.”

5. Genuine life lessons, from of all places, the world of professional golf.

A.  A PGA champion and columnist lock horns over a harsh critique, then learn from it.

B. A generation driven to win, but practiced in camaraderie.

Blessed Light

Living in the Upper Lefthand Corner of the United States requires a tradeoff that is difficult at times. You must endure dampness and darkness for eight months of the year in exchange for four months of supernatural light and unparalleled beauty. Right now we’re in the sweet spot of the four months meaning there’s no other place on the planet I’d rather be.

During this morning’s run in Priest Point Park I was intermittently blanketed by the sun’s brilliant radiance as I moved steadily through the forest. Shirtless and sweaty at 7a,  I was profoundly appreciative of July. More so than I ever would be if it wasn’t for the damp and dark runs during the eight contrasting months. The contrast is key.

Mid-day, on Mount Rainier with family, the sun ricocheted off the snow surrounding Snow Lake.

Tonight, transfixed by the fading sun on the western horizon, I will sit on the deck eating popcorn and drinking a recovery beer with family. Sunset is at 9:08p.m., but it won’t get dark until 9:45-10p.m. Must store as much Vitamin D as possible.

As a visitor you probably wouldn’t get it, you’d probably say, “Yeah sure, the weather, the trees, the water, they’re all nice, but really, no need to get all worked up about it.” To which I’d say, “I’m selling it short. I can’t do justice to the blessed light that gives me an unspeakable joy and sustains me through the dark.” At which point you’d just slowly back away not knowing what to make of me. Which I would understand and not hold against you. At all.

Addendum: For those keeping score at home, the “find the spelling errors in the initial draft” scorecard currently reads, Cal Lutheran 1, St. Olaf 1, Carleton 0.

 

 

 

Wise Advice For Young Female Runners

Or so says LetsRun.com. I’d revise that to read “Wise Advice for Anyone Trying to Find Their Way in Life”.

Beautiful, powerful essay by Lauren Fleshman, a recently retired professional runner to her high school self. The gist of it, short-term success is a trap, form healthful habits, and decide for yourself what’s most important in life.

 

Help Me

Help others.

When Mother Dear died two years ago, my brothers, sister, and I inherited what was left in her charitable foundation. Meaning every four years I get to give away some money. This year it’s my turn and I’m not sure whom I should give the money to. Leaning towards a few non-profits that work with the homeless in our fair city.

How do you decide whom to give to? My thinking is guided by two important things. First, the gifts have to be ones moms would’ve made. Second, the gifts should have a lasting impact.

The first principle is a breeze because Mother Dear was profoundly generous. Unlike me, she didn’t overthink things. Instead, she instinctively gave when made aware of obvious needs. No paralysis by analysis.

The second principle is where I need your help. Consider this philanthropic case study. Tom and Christy Lee deserve lots of credit for their selflessness and for helping me refine my philosophy of philanthropy. Consider the math, $5,495 donated to forgive the school lunch debts of 262 families. An average of $21 per family.

It’s possible that an unexpected $21, like tiny micro-loans that have received so much positive press, could make a meaningful difference in a low-income family’s struggle to turn an economic corner. But if the families who received the unexpected loan forgiveness don’t address any of the underlying causes that resulted in them falling behind on their children’s school meals, won’t they be in the exact same place in a year’s time? Does the $21 have a lasting impact? I’m skeptical.

And isn’t the same conundrum even more pronounced for the organizations I’m considering giving to? If the organizations I’m considering giving to feed, clothe, and shelter the most vulnerable members of our community, but don’t also provide substance abuse and mental health counseling or job training and low income housing, won’t the numbers of homeless continue to tick upwards?

So is the answer to give to “both/and” organizations, non-profits that both meet the immediate needs of the most vulnerable and work equally hard to remedy one or more of the underlying causes of institutional homelessness?

Also, how do I assess the relative efficiency of the local organizations I’m considering? The overhead of medium and large sized non-profits are carefully scrutinized by excellent websites, but not smaller, grass-roots ones. How can I know whether 50 or 90 cents of every dollar ends up directly benefitting those in need?

Ultimately, how might I maximize the long-term benefits of these gifts, honor my mom, and extend her legacy?