Just returned from the Olympia High School Girls Swimming Parents Meeting. My 57 MA students from this summer would have enjoyed a big chuckle if they could have been there.  

Some context.  A few weeks ago, one of my teaching partners challenged our students to think through the pros and cons of corporate sponsorship of public school athletics and academics. A spirited debated ensued with intelligent arguments on both sides. I sat in silence which was remarkable because I believe very strongly that public schools should be as free of corporate sponsorship and logos as absolutely possible. Most of my world is gray, this is an exception.

School attendance is compulsory so students are a captive audience. Why should we help corporations build brand loyalty as soon as possible? I also believe some corporations want to squash debate about the merits of free market capitalism. Try developing a thoughtful, rigorous social studies program in that environment. How will we ensure a vibrant democracy if our youngest citizens aren’t challenged to consider the advantages and disadvantages of free-market capitalism?

Near the end of the debate, my colleague turned to me and asked me to weigh in. An impassioned rant ensued.  By the looks on their faces, I’m guessing half were inspired to think about it in new ways and half wondered what type of institution grants an insane person tenure.

Flash forward to tonight’s meeting.  Damn if the first handout didn’t have an effin’ swoosh on the bottom of it.  Shortly after coming to grips with that, I learn Nike has been given the team’s suit, cap, t-shirt, and sweats bidness in an “amazing deal”.  The “spirit package” (suit and cap) is only $55.  So maybe we’re saving five to ten dollars.  

I’m guessing I might have been the only parent in the crowded room that immediately started wondering what does Nike get for their $5-$10. What are the trade-offs?  

The Quakers have this great concept that if you feel compelled by “that of God within you” to say something in a meeting you have an obligation to the group to do so.  I didn’t feel obligated to the group since I didn’t know many of the people, but I knew I’d be upset with myself on the drive home if I didn’t speak out.  

So here’s the jest of what I said, “I know the cost to swim has gone up this year, the economy is poor, and people are hurting, and so the savings matter, but I for one would rather pay a little more to not advertise for Nike. [The coach, a friend who I assisted last year, had more of a “Ron you’re insane” look on his face, but I pressed on.] The students are a captive audience, and I think we should think through what Nike is getting out of ‘our great deal'”. The wonderful senior captain tried to alleviate my concern by spinning the deal.  In turn I encouraged her and her teammates to think critically and decide whether they want to advertise for Nike.

A few minutes later a parent said, “I for one just want to thank you for finding a good deal.”  In other words, go back under the rock from which you emerged.  

It’s moments like that when I have to really fight cynicism because I think if parents don’t challenge their kids to think through decisions like that, critical thinking is an impossibility, and without critical thinking, can we really maintain a vibrant democracy?

One other parent complimented the “eloquent” way I expressed myself, but I suspect she was questioning my sanity at the same time.

When I got home I learned this wasn’t an isolated incident. Olympia High School is now a “Nike-school”.  

Here’s my question to “great deal” swimming parent.  Where do you suggest we draw the line?  Why not a Reebok middle school and a Puma elementary school with free Usain Bolt “I enjoy reading” posters? I’m sure we could get more and more corporate sponsorships to subsidize more and more of public school costs. You want lower property taxes, then fine, let’s plaster billboards on school busses.  Let’s return to Channel One televised news with Skittles commercials every 90 seconds.  Let’s sell football stadium naming rights to the highest bidder whether they’re a good corporate citizen or not.  Let’s sell computer lab rights to Intel and plaster a placard on the door.  

If we get creative, we can probably avoid paying any property taxes.  Then we’ll have more than enough money to go buy more sports shit with swooshes all over it.

Housing crisis, foreclosures, financial institutions teetering on the brink.  Say you’re about to lose your house, forget walking away from it.  Offer it to NIKE or some other corporation. They’d probably assume half the liability and half the payments in exchange for painting giant swooshes on the roof, garage doors, and sides of the house.  Housing crisis averted.  No harm done.  

Running a little low on cash, get branded.  I’m guessing Nike would pay you $1,000 to have the swoosh tatooed on the back of your neck.  That is unless you’re a public school teacher and around 150 kids, 180 days a year, in which case I’m guessing they’d double it.