A new friend I’m enjoying spending time with asked me recently, “Do you go to church? Did you? How were you raised, religiously?”
I can quickly and easily answer those questions. No. Yes. Semi-religiously. But those cryptic responses beg follow up questions, especially, what happened that caused you to stop attending church? But instead of explaining that here, I’m guessing she was most curious about what I believe.
I appreciate the meaning many people find in being active church goers. The way the music, liturgical traditions, friendships, and community service enrich their lives. Organized religion is almost always a net positive.
For me though, the ancient hymns, and too often patriarchal liturgies and prayers, combined with a dearth of opportunities for intentional and democratic small group communication, made church participation less and less compelling post-Covid. I also believe anyone who thinks their own faith tradition is the one and only true one needs to see more of the world.
I am not explaining my thinking to persuade you to think similarly. I do not need you to think similarly to me for me to be secure in my beliefs. I am all for church participation for thee, just not for me. But, as the numbers clearly show, I am not alone in finding transcendence elsewhere.
And although I am dechurched, I believe in the supernatural, more specifically in a holy spirit if you will.
I seek transcendence in three places primarily: nature; the arts; and close interpersonal relationships.
I believe in the Salish Sea, Aspen trees, the Cascades, the Pacific coast, and all of Western Canada.
I believe in words and imagination, and emotions and stories, and how some people combine them in ways, that for me, are truly transcendent. I believe in Ian McEwan, Richard Russo, Joan Didion, and Jonathan Franzen. And I believe in modern dance, painting, and the power of film. Artists convince me, over and over, that things will be okay in the long run.
And I believe in family, the kind that’s based on birth and the kind people thoughtfully cut and paste together over the years. I especially believe in caregivers, like Olga, Abigail, and Fufu, who hold families together.
And I believe in the emerging social scientific consensus that says well-being mostly consists of making close friends and then spending time with them. I believe in the simplicity of that formula.
And I don’t just believe, but know in the depths of my soul that tomorrow is not guaranteed and I cannot afford to put off being in nature, reading ebullient stories, celebrating art, hanging with family and friends, and loving deeply.
Pressing Pause 
I feel more connected spiritually when I go to a Springsteen concert (May 2026 Cleveland) ,listening/watching my high school band play or listening to Bobby Floyd play with the Columbus Jazz Arts (Rhapsody in Blue almost made me cry).
A friend of mine recently lost his wife and one of the things that made him mad was when people tried to console him with biblical references. I explained to him it’s probably 1. those words have consoled him in the past or 2. they don’t know what else to say. I’m no longer religious. I’m done with the politics of churches. But I find solace in music.
I feel more connected spiritually when I go to a Springsteen Concert (CLE May26), or watch my high school band or Bobby Floyd perform with the Columbus Jazz Arts Group (Rhapsody in Blue just transcended time).
I had a friend (36 yo), who recently passed away. Her husband really struggled when colleagues and friends would offer condolences based on scripture as he is not religious. I offered him advice that sometimes people just don’t know what to say, so they say the things that comforted them when they lost a loved one, which is likely scripture or “it’s the will of god”. I don’t think people always consider their words carefully and want to offer those kind of comforting words. But they forget or don’t consider the individual may have a different belief system. To me, we should just offer hugs.
Nice. Thank you Kelly. Enjoy Bruce.
I appreciate the thoughts. It’s interesting, but I’m reading a huge book about the German poet Goethe. I wrote my Masters thesis on him, and really connect with his poetry. He connects with the transcendental in many of the same ways you delineated. I am still a church goer, and enjoy the more singable gospel music that we find at Peace. Also, as I related to you, I’ve found a good men’s circle. Keep the faith, wherever you may find it!!
Well said, I believe.
ADub
Thank you for your honesty. I appreciate learning that your spiritual focus has changed from our college days. I think if I were still in the US, I would not be in church either. My musical soul must have come from an earlier age as I prefer the ancient hymns.
But I agree with you that churches, for that matter, religious groups, seem to have an in-built aversion to “intentional and democratic small group communication”. If only leaders and their supporters could get past their self-preservation shields to protect their own egos and sensitivity to rejection. But overcoming this urge is irksome because it works two ways. Just last Sunday, a visitor asked me about places to visit in the Philippines and I know his question was based only on my facial looks. I told him my mother was often mistaken for being Filipino.