Today, Greg, Alex, Tom, and I rode a hell of a long ways to get coffee at a coffee/bicycle shop. Which, in September, is only open on the weekends.

“I’m gonna see a guy about a cow” became code for “I’m going to take a nature break.” Which is cycling parlance for “I need to whizz.” Which is a crass way of saying, “I am going to dismount in order to urinate.” Since we’re on the subject, get a load of this.

So, it’s okay to pee in the urinal if you bend from the waist a little. And it’s a-okay to levitate slightly about the toilet seat. And to pee into the toilet as long as you lead with your mid-section. What is NOT okay, is squatting on the rim of the toilet. For heaven’s sake, if you feel compelled to squat, put the seat down first. Yes, the length and difficulty of today’s ride could be effecting me. Here are the deets I know you’re dying for.

I couldn’t have found a nicer group of fifty-somethings to beat on me. Really, a spectacular day on the bike. Brilliant roads, more Belgium countryside goodness, and air conditioning with sunshine, blue skies, and temps around 60. One particular stretch, a straight smooth gentle downhill that cut through a heavily wooded forest was as good as it gets.

At the midpoint, Alex and I tried to rebound from the coffee/bike shop being closed by splitting a pizza. Which he washed down with two fahncy coffees. Eating five pieces of pizza mid-ride may not have been the best decision I’ve made today.