As employees, parents, athletes, friends, artists, investors, people, how do we know if we’re performing to our potential? More specifically, how do you know what your potential is as a runner or how do I know what my potential is as a writer? How do we know if we’re seriously underachieving or maximizing our potential?

Self-understanding is obviously a big help. The introspective person who knows herself well definitely has a headstart on the non-introspective person. But we can’t objectively assess our potential without other’s thoughtful input. Given that, we should be providing more feedback to one another. Me to you, “You’re really good at ‘x’. Maybe if you did ‘y’, you could accomplish ‘z’.” You to me, “You have a talent for y, if you applied yourself even more you could probably do x.”

The problem though is no one likes to receive unsolicited advice. So where does that leave us? Waiting for one another to ask for input. To a co-worker, “What do I do particularly well? What are some specific things I could improve upon?” To a fellow athlete, “What do you perceive to be my strengths? Where could I improve the most?” To a spouse, Tiger to Elin for example, “What do I do especially well? What are some specific things I could improve upon?”

The problem with that though is we’re insecure, afraid that our weaknesses outweigh our strengths. Consequently, we don’t seek outside opinions. Our own are negative enough.

In the end, I’m too insecure to seek objective feedback from those who know me well; as a result, I’m unsure of my potential in any given context, so it’s anyone’s guess whether I’m underachieving, maximizing my potential, or something in between.