Tag Archives: identity

The Big Question In Retirement

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Who am I now that I’m not working? That’s the question Stephen Kreider Yoder, 66, and Karen Kreider Yoder, 67, reflect on in this Wall Street Journal essay.

Karen writes:

“I no longer have the career that was the dominant part of my identity. Instead, I have a many-faceted identity.

Sure, there are mornings when I feel melancholy, often when the coming day feels unstructured or without purpose. On rare occasions, I stay in my pajamas all morning and wish I were back to my routine of setting off before dawn by bike to the ferry, across the San Francisco Bay and back on the bike for the last leg to the university. It was an invigorating commute, and I had heady work building a department that made an impact in the community.

But the pressure and the stress? The sleepless nights preparing for meetings and classes? I am happy to have left that behind, and the place it had in my identity. Now, if I’m not satisfied with my day, it’s my own fault.”

I wonder though, is it her own fault?

I’m struck by the limited opportunities for retired peeps to share their unique skills and work/life experiences, insights, and wisdom. A cynical view would be that “society” just doesn’t care. That it has an ageist, “thank you for coming”, perspective.

Sure, retired people can volunteer for any number of non-profits, and some create “encore” careers, but for the vast majority it’s not easy to find the right fit. To be able to make similar contributions as they did when working, just in significantly less time, and with less stress.

I wonder if I happened onto a large part of the answer when I entered the crib last Saturday afternoon. The GalPal had just finished tutoring a recently retired lawyer-friend who is learning Spanish. Afterwards, she said she felt a sense of purpose that is decidedly more elusive in her post-teaching life.

I wonder. If for retired people struggling with their new, post paid work identities, the answer may be informal small groups where each participant contributes a unique skill.

Which leaves me wondering. How might we facilitate more grass roots, retirement, purpose making?

The Overworked American

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From True Wealth by Juliet Schor:

“Not surprisingly, over the last twenty years, a large number of U.S. employees report being overworked. A 2004 study found that 44 percent of respondents were often or very often overworked, overwhelmed at their job, or unable to step back and process what’s going on. A third reported being chronically overworked. These overworked employees had much higher stress levels, worse physical health, higher rates of depression, and reduced ability to take care of themselves than their less-pressured colleagues. Adverse effects of long hours, stress, and overwork have found in a number of studies, for a variety of physical, mental, and social health outcomes.”

Phenomenon like that inspired this blog’s name many moons ago. So, as the calendar year draws to a close, let’s step back and process what’s going on.

Why do so many U.S. workers subject themselves to the “adverse effects of long hours, stress, and overwork”? Is it because, as one of my friends insists, they have no choice, because their families have grown accustomed to uber-comfortable, expensive-to- maintain lifestyles? Is it as simple as mindless materialism or trying to keep pace with one’s neighbors conspicuous consumption? What if my friend went to his family and said, I want to invest less time at work and more strengthening our relationships and my physical, mental, and social health?

Overworked U.S. readers, what is keeping you from reducing your personal or family overhead and going half-time at work? Or if your employer doesn’t provide a half-time option, finding a different job that would require less of you so that you could prioritize, rather than continue neglecting, your physical, mental, and social health?

I don’t think my friend would admit it, but I’m convinced, despite his sporadic complaining about his work, he greatly prefers being at work to not. He does not have many interests outside of work. He’s good at what he does. Being good at what he does gives him an identity.

Maybe the central challenge for the overworked American isn’t figuring out how to down-size his or her lifestyle, it’s how to craft an identity from non-work interests and activities.

Postscript: Mea culpa. I should’ve woven this sentence in from Schor too. “Of course, for many earning less money is simply impossible, because their wages are too low.”