Rugby yes. Fencing no. I will not be taking any questions.
Category Archives: Sports
Don’t Drink The Water
The Wall Street Journal headline asserts, “The Dirty Secret of Olympic Swimming: Everyone Pees in the Pool”. Two main reasons. The swimmers are super-hydrated and their speed suits take 20 minutes to take off and put on. Chlorine for the win.
There’s an unspoken rule that you don’t let loose near others. That is, most swimmers most of the time. Apparently, there are some exceptions.

For the record, I would never whizz in any body of water that’s not encased in porcelain.
Everything Is Going To Be Alright
Now that it’s looking like the Demos have a Presidential candidate who is two decades younger than the other teams. The Other Team is livid at the eighth inning substitution which is as clear an indication as there is that everything is going to be alright.
Or is it?
Hardly anyone is paying attention to the most recent sign that the U.S. is in decline. The (d)USA Olympic basketball team was down 14 to South Sudan at halftime of their recent Olympics tune-up. And won by 1 point thanks to LeBron’s last second heroics.
South Sudan. Do the South Sudanese players not understand the concept of American exceptionalism? In case not, here’s a primer.
Because I like to keep it real, I’m going to tell you what no one else will. It doesn’t do a nation any good to be “unique and even morally superior. . . for historical, ideological, or religious reasons” if that country doesn’t box out and clean the glass.
The Difficulty Of Exiting The Stage
Age Is Just A Number
The Paris Olympics are the distraction we need. ESPN has a groovy interactive feature that allows you to pick Team (d)USA’s men’s hoops starting five. After assembling your team, you get immediate feedback on how they would likely fare.
ESPN’s computer did not like my vet-heavy choices.
Stop stressing about the weather, the Presidential Election, Project 2025, and the possible end of democracy, and pick your starting five. No doubt you will assemble a younger, better team, maybe even a gold medal winning one.

Postscript. My do-over.

Brutally Funny
A taste of Zoe Williams’s scathing review of Tom Bower’s book, House of Beckham about David Beckham.
“There are much smokier guns in the book, as regards David Beckham’s infidelity, detailed accounts of his text message and travel history with Sarah Marbeck, Celina Laurie, Rebecca Loos, Danielle Heath. All of this is quite historical – the annus horribilis from the institution of marriage’s point of view would be 2004 or, to put that another way, 20 years ago. Perhaps more problematic for the biographer is that it was all already in the public domain, courtesy of many overlapping newspaper reports and in quite granular detail. So without anything from inside the house of Beckham, and almost nothing new from the many women involved, Bower’s is more of an aggregator role. Chat GPT could have done the whole thing faster, with the prompts: David Beckham – erection – sun lounger.”
Sentence To Ponder
“This victory across more than 4 1/2 hours means that Djokovic is now 40-11 in fifth sets over his career.” ESPN
Happy To Help
The best and most famous women’s college basketball player of all-time is now a rookie in the Women’s National Basketball Association. Caitlin Clark, with Steph Curry-like range, set numerous records on the court and now she’s setting them off the court with multimillion dollar endorsements. And bringing unprecedented attention to women’s college and professional basketball. I can’t think of any female athlete who has captured as much of the public’s attention as Clark.
You would think WNBA players would appreciate the eyeballs and money Clark is injecting into the until now low-profile league. Like PGA players who make four times as much as they would without Tiger Woods. That’s the way to think of Clark, as the WNBA’s Tiger Woods. Tangent—her golf swing is pretty good too.
But if you thought that about WNBA players, you would be wrong. Saturday, while standing under the basket, Clark got a forearm shiver from a Chicago Sky player when she wasn’t even looking. And one of the Chicago Sky’s teammates celebrated the hit, embracing her knucklehead teammate as she returned to the bench. More importantly, those two players appear to represent lots of WNBA peeps that resent Clark’s popularity and bulging bank account.
The predominant attitude seems to be “Who the hell do you think you are?” Not, “Welcome to the league, let’s ball, and let’s (finally) make bank.” Is there something about the way Clark conducts herself that explains the antipathy? Fo sho a large part of her success has to be self-confidence which at times crosses over into cockiness. Or what the kids call “swag”. But only on the court. One wonders, does heat-of-the-moment in-game swagger justify blind forearm shivers away from the ball? Hell nah, breh.
The coverage of the hard foul away from the ball has focused almost exclusively on where were Clark’s teammates? More to the point, who is the Indiana Fever’s enforcer? So here we are with people who’d be loathe to tell their school-aged children to “hit back” screaming at their televisions for “an enforcer”.
I suspect two things are at work. I wouldn’t be surprised if that “Who the hell do you think you are” sentiment is at work in her own teammates even as they fly on Clark-inspired charter flights for the first time in league history. Way too much fame and money too early on.
Race has to play a part too. Rightly or wrongly, the Chicago Sky player and Clark’s own teammates probably think a large part of her notoriety is a result of her Iowa whiteness.
Because WNBA players have long sought a white Boomer’s advice, I’m going to give it to them. Take a cue from the Professional Golf Association at the dawn of the Tiger Woods era. It’s in your enlightened self-interest to embrace Clark in total, the long-distance bombs, the television commercials, the in-game swag, the Midwest farm girl persona.
This is a generational opportunity to double or triple your salaries. And to avoid having to play in Russia during the off-season. And to avoid flying commercial with the rest of us plebs. And in case you hadn’t noticed, your time as a professional athlete is limited.
I Can Do It Too
This guy, whose net worth is over $500m, has a huge following among young sports-minded men. He has won over $2m picking the winner of the last two professional golf events. You can take this to the bank—his recent, short-term luck will translate into hundreds of millions more lost by sports gambling addicts.

Sentence To Ponder
From ESPN.com.
“The World Anti-Doping Agency on Saturday confirmed reports that 23 Chinese swimmers had tested positive for a banned drug before the Tokyo Olympics but that it accepted the country’s findings it was due to substance contamination.”
A name change may be in order. . . The Pro-China Doping Agency or The Who Are We To Judge Anti-Doping Agency.

