The Upside Down

Somehow, I’ve stumbled into a Stranger Things episode. And thanks to Biden, Trump, and the Lakers, I can’t get out.

Democratic Party leaders and Biden officials say I shouldn’t trust what I’m seeing and hearing. They know what I, a certified bed-wetter, don’t. The President is not aging. The debate was a one-off. His voice, energy levels, and communication skills are all fine. And will continue to be throughout a second term. He continues to be the exact right person for the job at the exact right time.

Following the debate, the Serial Liar said, “As I walked off the stage on Thursday night, at the end of the highly anticipated ‘Debate,’ anchors, political reporters and all screamed that I had had the greatest debate performance in the long and storied history of North Korea Presidential Debates. They all said, effectively, ‘Trump was fantastic!'”

Cue JJ Redick, the Los Angeles Lakers’ new head coach who today said, with a remarkably straight face, “Rob (Pelinka) and I did not give Bronny anything. Bronny has earned this. … Bronny has earned this through hard work.”

Bronny, who is shorter than me, averaged 4.8 points on 36.6% shooting (26.7% from 3), 2.8 rebounds and 2.1 assists in 19.3 minutes per game at some loathsome college. But the Lakers are saying I shouldn’t trust that sample set and that they would’ve picked Bronny even if the team wasn’t desperate to make his dad happy and resign him.

Biden’s Reelection Team, The North Korean, and the Los Angeles Lakers all think we’re too stupid to think for ourselves. So they’ll do it for us.

Our eyes, ears, and brains be damned.

Thirty Two Years of Heartbreak

“Alas, the end of Camelot came quickly. Since that moment, none of Minnesota’s four major pro sports teams — MLB’s Twins, NBA’s Timberwolves, NHL’s North Stars (later the Wild) and the NFL’s Vikings — have advanced to a championship series or Super Bowl, much less won. The span of 32 title-free years, extended at times via comically unlikely scenarios, is the longest active streak among the nation’s 13 markets with all four leagues present. It’s a decade longer than the next-most starved market in Arizona.”

The whole sordid story is here for your reading displeasure.

Not to mention having to endure Michelle Bachmann, mosquitos, and constant Canadian cold fronts.

I know what you’re thinking. . . how ’bout Ant and those Western Conference leading Timberwolves. Not so fast says Whenesota who says he can’t stop thinking about the league’s 1994 season — when the No. 1-seeded Seattle SuperSonics lost to the Denver Nuggets in the first round of the playoffs.

“I can totally see that happening,” he said. “You don’t want it to happen, but you can totally see it and you’d be like, ‘That’s Minnesota sports.'”

Thoughts and prayers for Dan Whenesota and the nice people of Minnesota.

The Church Is Up Against It

Post pandemic congregants not returning to the pews. Evangelicals under Orange Jesus’s spell. Secularism running amok.

As if that’s not enough Oregon spanked Liberty 45-6 in the Fiesta Bowl. Add to that, today’s ESPN headline, “Grambling women beat College of Biblical Studies 159-18”.*

Don’t be surprised if historians point to the College of Biblical Studies loss as the church’s low point.

*Reminds me of one of the youngest’s middle school basketball games, which her team lost 49-7. “Dad,” she said afterwards, “we lost by the square root!”

On Basketball Coaching

March-June is college/pro basketball at its best. A lot of people only worship at one of the churches, I happily switch back and forth.

An observation. There is zero correlation between how successful a person was as a player and how successful they are as a coach. Examples are everywhere, but Patrick Ewing’s Big East Georgetown record of 0-19 is one particularly glaring one*.

In fact, if you compare former top college and pro player coaches versus all the remaining ones, I’ll bet you come up with a negative correlation.

Which begs the question, why? When Magic Johnson quickly flamed out as the Lakers coach, analysts said he had a hard time relating to the vast majority of ordinary players for whom the game didn’t come as easily. I also suspect, they get outworked by their less famous, less wealthy counterparts.

So wisen up athletic directors and pass on the former stars.

*For some strange reason(s), Ewing thinks he should be back next year.

Stat Of The Day

Once again, professional basketball division. As a sometimes Laker fan and all the time UCLA grad, this really pains me. Russell Westbrook was 4-24 from three in February. 16.7%. And last night he started March out 0-4. Maybe quit shooting them?

A lot of smart basketball people were skeptical of the 21-22 Lakers, but I don’t think anyone expected them to be this bad.

‘I Want To Play For You’

ESPN reports that five-star basketball recruit Patrick Baldwin Jr. has committed to Milwaukee of the Horizon League, spurning offers from the likes of Duke, Georgetown and Virginia to join his father Patrick Baldwin Sr., the Panthers’ head coach since 2017.

I’ve never heard of the Milwaukee Panthers, but I’m a fan of the Baldwins now.

“Baldwin recalled the moment he told his parents he was staying home and playing for Milwaukee.

‘I walked in the room and said, ‘I have something to share with you. I want to play for you.’ He gave me a hug, started crying and left the room,” Baldwin said. “My mom and dad left the decision up to me. They gave me insight during the process but left the decision up to me.'”

At 6’10”, Baldwin is a passer, ball handler, and perimeter shooter. Basketball is of course a team game; still, I expect the Panthers to win more than they lose next season.

Just Because You Can Afford To, Doesn’t Mean You Should

A picture of a neighbor’s property from this morning’s walk. 

“Hey Ron, what’s the backstory of the University of Washington-painted tennis court/full basketball court with state-of-the-art plexiglass break-away rims?”

I’m glad you asked.

The owner, a friend of a friend who I have never met, bought this large wooded property a couple of years ago. And then proceeded to clear cut it. And then added a bunch of out-buildings and the primo lighted sport court for his children.

Granted I’m not omniscient, but I’ve never seen or heard the children using either of the courts. Which is why the lighting is a humorous touch, as if there’s not enough daylight to get in all the basketball and tennis the children want to play.

Meditating on that court this morning made me think of Venus and Serena growing up on Compton, California’s public tennis courts. Or any elite basketball player who routinely left their hood to find competitive games that helped them hone their skills.

But forget elite sports—whether college or pro—consider the opportunity costs, besides the obvious environmental ones of the clear cutting, of not having to play in public settings with a diverse assortment of other people. Some exceedingly difficult to get along with. Even though my parents could have afforded to, I’m glad they chose not to join a country club. I benefitted immensely from growing up on public golf courses, swimming in public pools, and playing on public tennis courts.

Like in public schools, places where I learned to mix it up with other kids. Which has proved extremely valuable throughout my life.

The Main Challenge For the Brooklyn Nets’ New Big Three

Jesse Washington says its character.

“In all fairness, there’s more to Harden’s and Irving’s character than basketball. Irving is a generous and passionate advocate for social justice. Harden helped buy food for 5,000 Houston families during the pandemic. But when it comes to their profession, they seem entitled. Which makes it hard for any partnership to work.”