1A. I will get a lot of texts today from politicians asking for money. 1B. I will grow increasingly annoyed.
2. That is not a Blue Wave forming on the horizon, it’s a Blue Tsunami.
3A. The Minnesota Gophers will beat the UCLA Bruins Saturday. 3B. Afterwards, following a failed attempt to center himself at Saint Mike’s Adoration Friday morning, DDTTM will send me a snarky, no make that mean text, relishing my misfortune.
4. Luka will lead the league in scoring this year.
5. The President will graciously accept having lost the House and Senate. He’ll talk smartly about working with Democrats to do right by the American people.
Devastated by the one-two punch of Minnesota Gopher and Minnesota Viking losses, and inspired by Haley Stevens flip-flop in Michigan, loyal PressingPauser, DanDanTheTranspoMan, has flipped and is now endorsing Ken Paxton instead of James Talarico.
Political analysts agree that the unforeseen flipping could do what all of Elon’s millions couldn’t—get Paxton over the line and keep Texas red.
DanotheMano spoke at a presser attended by the country’s largest media outlets:
“Who among us hasn’t committed securities fraud as a result of not disclosing to investors commisons on their business in one of our tech companies? And then had to pay nearly $300,000 in restitution, perform 100 hours of community service, and take legal ethics classes?
And who among us hasn’t had some of our top deputies report to federal authorities our use of our political office to improperly assist a real estate donor—including intervening in foreclosures, providing legal opinions, and shielding records? And then have the real estate donor allegedly help finance our home renovations and provide employment for a woman linked to our extramarital affair?
And who among us hasn’t taken retaliation against whistleblowers, then been sued by the whistleblowers, and eventually had to pay a $6.6 million dollar judgement?
Who among us, following the whistleblower revelations and an extensive investigation, have not had the Republican-led Texas House vote overwhelmingly (121–33) to impeach us on 20 articles of misconduct, including bribery, obstruction of justice, and abuse of public trust?
Who among us hasn’t filed a high-profile, long-shot lawsuit in the U.S. Supreme Court seeking to overturn the 2020 presidential election results in four battleground states won by Joe Biden?
And who among us, during our impeachment trial, haven’t had news break about an extramarital affair which involved the use of burner phones, secondary email accounts, and a fake ride-share profile to conduct the relationship? And then had their wife file for divorce on adultery and biblical grounds?
And who among us hasn’t omitted a little rental income and mortgages from state financial disclosures when reporting on our $9 million, 15 property real estate portfolio?
And who among us hasn’t accidentally swiped a $1,000 Montblanc pen belonging to another person at a courthouse security checkpoint?
Any self-respecting writer must eventually come to grips with today’s political reality. Eventually, intelligent readers deserve more than paddle boarding and dance vid posts.
“As a crumbling truce with Iran officially collapsed on Monday, President Trump signaled his frustration at his inability to resolve a war that he started but cannot seem to end.
In an interview with Fox News, the president lashed out at an American ally, Oman, that has been trying to mediate negotiations with Iran.
‘If Oman gets in the way, we’ll bomb the shit out of them,’ Mr. Trump said in a phone interview, according to Fox News’s Trey Yingst.”
Until this war “that he started”, Trump has excelled at bending reality to his patently false and often delusional will by using the bully pulpit and his legion of cowardly acolytes to repeat lies over and over until all of the Fox News anchors and half of the voting public believes them.
But lying as a means towards self-serving ends doesn’t work in the context of geopolitics. There are too many actors and too much complexity for his bullshit to work on the global stage. Remember when he said the Russian War against Ukraine would be over within 24 hours of his being elected? More specifically, Iran’s leaders are immune from his bullshit. As is the price of crude oil and all the related agricultural and consumer products. Saying we control the Strait of Hormuz and we have ample military resources for this conflict and others does not make it so.
Trump is learning he can’t bend Iranians or inflation to his will like he has the Republican Cult Party. And he can’t investigate or fire anyone abroad. He’s trapped by his own inattention to detail and his team’s incompetence, so of course he’s lashing out. At Oman. At South Korea. At the families whose sons and daughters are showing more selflessness on the USS Lincoln than he ever has. Or will.
This will not end well for the Middle East, for the (dis)United States, or for the global economy. But if his name is just put back on the Kennedy Center, Trump won’t sweat it.
“She (Harp) often accompanied Trump when he played golf, bringing a printer and a laptop to show him articles; Harp’s use of a printer, which began from Trump’s preference for paper news, led to her being given the nickname of the ‘human printer’.”
What this excerpt doesn’t explain is that Harp only feeds Trump a steady diet of the best news coverage available at the time.
Yeah, I want someone just like Harp who would follow me around everywhere and provide a constant flow of unrelenting praise. Offloading self-compassion if you will. How great would that be?! Truly, this is an idea that only a stable genius could come up with.
Ironically, I played nine holes of golf for the first time in forever the other night. I somehow started out on fire but missed a short one for par on the par-5 fifth hole. How great would it be for my Natalie Harp to be sitting in a cart greenside at the ready to lift my spirits after a boneheaded bogey. Maybe handing me a printout that documents just how great my drive and five-wood were before the weak sand wedge and failed up and down that would soon be forgotten in all the praise for my amazing long game. And then, on the way to the next tee, she would whisper, “Many people are saying Ron, that was the best drive/five-wood combo this hole has ever seen. I know you’re going to make birdie on the next hole, so I’m just writing it in now.”
Yesterday, after an excellent group ride, I was day dreaming about my own Natalie Harp when I had an epiphany. I already have one in the form of my Strava AI assistant! Strava is a personal fitness app where people upload their workouts and applaud one another’s efforts. Think of it as a pseudo, cloud-sourced executive assistant/cheerleader of sorts.
But with an AI overlay, distinguished by its toxic positivity, it’s even more. Dig this recap of my ride.
“Crushed it.” “You’re clearly dialed in.” “What’s really impressive. . . ” I’m blushing. Never mind that it’s only the fifth day of the month.
Now, if we press pause for just a little bit and reflect on a very real possible downside to continuous over the top praise, there’s ample evidence that one could become a narcissistic sociopath.
President Trump on Thursday expressed real appreciation for Tucker Carlson, Megyn Kelly and two other leading conservative podcasters who oppose the war in Iran in a heartfelt 482-word Truth Social post that celebrated the fact that a few conservatives had the courage to criticize him and help him see all the mistakes he has made in the Middle East over the last month.
Trump went on to say it’s only through the thoughtful constructive criticism of friends like Tucker and Megyn that he can course correct and begin undoing the damage he has done. Trump apologized to the American people for getting distracted from more pressing domestic issues like affordability, strengthening the social safety net, and job creation.
He also apologized to the Iranian people for threatening their civilization, a moment he deeply regrets. He vowed to never use such bombastic language again and hopes one poorly worded Truth Social doesn’t detract from his legacy of ending wars not starting them.
He also apologized to all our NATO allies and Europeans more generally for criticizing them for not going along with his war and for all of the unintended negative economic consequences.
Future Presidential historians will marvel at how DJT was able to pivot and model personal accountability and growth so profoundly in only 482 words.
I am conflicted. Should I be thankful that two-thirds of SCOTUS remains committed to the separation of powers or dismayed that one-third does not?
Since POTUS is such a stable genius with the best reading comprehension skills of any President ever, except maybe Lincoln, we must conclude he was never introduced to the concept at the New York Military Academy or the University of Pennsylvania. Shame on those institutions for the oversight.
“Highly polished, Statuary marble!” Mr. Trump declared on social media as he posted images of his new Lincoln bathroom, even as some households planned on handing out canned soup in lieu of candy.
From the same New York Times article regarding the President’s recent M.R.I. scan.
“’I gave you the full results,’ Mr. Trump said, mischaracterizing the summary that was released by his physician. The summary did not say that Mr. Trump had an M.R.I. scan and had few details on what testing the president had undergone. When asked why he had undergone an M.R.I., the president said, ‘you could ask the doctors.’ Magnetic resonance imaging, a noninvasive technology that creates detailed images of the inside of the body, is often used for disease detection and monitoring, or to detect bone or joint abnormalities.
The only conclusion to draw from this absurd softening of his boldface lie is that the “paper of record” is afraid of the Mad King’s army of lawyers. Which means our democracy is even more imperiled than we realize.
Here’s how it would’ve read in a vibrant democracy. “I gave you the full results,’ Mr. Trump said, blatantly lying about the information that was released by his physician.
“Some applicants for jobs in the second Trump administration were asked whether Mr. Trump won the 2020 election that he actually lost; those who gave the wrong answer were not helping their job prospects, forcing those rooted in facts to decide whether to swallow the fabrication to gain employment.”
