Uphill Finish

On a website called “CaringBridge”, I’m writing occasional updates on the Good Wife’s Multiple Systems Atrophy for a growing list of family and friends from near and far.

What follows is this week’s CaringBridge update.

One of my favorite bike rides is super challenging. And hella scenic. The boys and I, starting near Widgi Creek Golf Course in Bend, Oregon, spend the morning climbing up to Mount Bachelor and then midday circumnavigating it. It’s 85 miles in total, but when it comes to the day’s nutrition/hydration/grit, I prep for 72ish because the last 13 or so are all downhill, sometimes even with a tailwind.

I wanted to live out life with Lynn just like the Bachelor ride. Spending the final segment, having real fun, aimless, with the wind in our (fading) hair, enjoying ourselves, without much effort. We saved money, I unplugged from work, and Century Drive stretched out before us.

In my warped/idealized vision of unreality.

Now, I’m so sad to report, our collective ride is ending not with a grin inducing downhill, but with a major climb. Into a headwind, with plummeting temps, even hail. Think Italy’s Stelvio Pass.

If I had known we’d have to confront a hugely challenging curveball at some point in our story, I would’ve chosen an earlier chapter. Fo sho. But wasn’t given the option.

There’s too much to do to feel sorry for myself. I can and do feel very sorry for Lynn though.

One of Alison’s friends from high school died recently at exactly half of Lynn’s age.

That tragic event made me appreciative of the length of our ride, but I’m still extremely sad about Lynn’s daily challenges.

In short, things are going from rough to rougher. She’s sleeping more, her voice continues to fade, and her body completely shuts down about once a day.

But her mind and loving spirit remain intact. And for that, we’re grateful.

On Hiatus

Since the beginning of the humble blog, I’ve strived to write authentically. Because of her right to privacy, that’s gotten more and more difficult as my wife suffers from a debilitating illness.

I am trying to care for her and am completely overwhelmed. But I don’t feel I can write about it. Maybe at some point in the future. Probably at some point in the future.

For now, in addition to caring for my wife, I’m planning to teach beginning in September. I don’t think I can do right by my wife, my students, and you.

Thank you for reading me and especially to those who took the time to comment from time to time.

Is this the end? I don’t know, time will tell. I’m trying to not plan the future as much, and instead, to live in the present.

Peace out.

Let Me Take Care Of It

‘member when I said one huge advantage of the new crib is the time I’ll save maintaining the much smaller yard?

The truth of the matter is, I kinda like yard work because the results are immediately visible, the exact opposite of my efforts to educate the next gen. Or my efforts to contribute to the common good more generally.

Right now, I’m bouncing back and forth between the old, still unsold house, and the new one. Yes, as a matter of fact, it does take real muscles to lift the mower in the back of the hatchback.

Yesterday, post shitty weather, I hit the Nature Park hard. There were an infinite number of brown pine seeds, leaves, branches, weeds, overgrown shrubs, but they were no match for me. First, blow. Then recharge batt. Then, pick up branches, pick largest weeds, toss pine cones over the outfield wall. Second, trim bushes front and back. Third, take recharged batt and blow a second time, moving bush clippings, leaves, and pine cone seeds into yard. Fourth, suck up said detritus while mowing with bag (verus the usual mulch). Fifth, pick up small branches that mower missed. Sixth, blow again because you can never blow enough.

It looked like like a million dollars. Or more.

A friend in North Carolina referred to “Mow, blow, and go” guys with derision. Screw that. It’s all about mowing, blowing, and going as fast as possible. Get the heart rate up and don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the pretty good.

Maybe when I close the classroom door for the last time, I’ll start a lawn business. Running between two houses is fun, but I imagine running between 10 would be 5x as fun. I’m workshopping names, let me know what you think. I saw a sign/advert yesterday while cycling for Lawn Boys and immediately thought of “Lawn Boy”,” a “take that” to that evil woman at Burgerville. Or maybe,”Mow, Blow, and Go”? Catchphrase, “Let me mow, blow, and go for you.”

The best part of this plan is I’ll have to buy a pickup truck. Well, that and what the GalPal is going to do when she sees my sweaty self get out of the truck after a long day of mowing, blowing, and going. Hubba hubba.

Pro Proximity

I’m sorry, but as a professor I have to sporadically use unnecessarily complex words. Like “sporadically” in place of “once in awhile”.

More illustrative of this professional obligation is the term “dialectical dilemma” which is when two seemingly conflicting things are true at the same time. Por exemplar, I annoy people*, you annoy people, people inevitably annoy one another, a little or a lot, some of the time, or nearly all of the time. It’s just baked into our daily lives. We give and we get.

Social scientists keep learning about all the ways close interpersonal relationships, or more plainly friendships, are essential to our well-being. Especially as we get closer to senior discounts.

So what are we to do? We annoy each other, but need each other.

Some people choose to live in remote settings where they’re way less likely to interact with others. Thus, they’re way less likely to be annoyed, while simultaneously giving up the substantial benefits of social interaction.

To each is own of course, but I’m convinced we should embrace the risks of being annoyed by living in closer proximity to others. Put differently, we should design our lives so we have to interact with others on a regular basis. Knowing our feathers are going to get ruffled.

Zillow has a cool feature called the “Walk Score” for residences. Our old home had a Walk Score of 0. Our new one has a Walk Score of 65. From the country to the city we go.

One day last week, the Good Wife tricked me bigly. “Do you want to weed the front together?” she asked. I knew I was looking especially fetching, but that was a shameless come-on if I ever heard one. I pictured us rolling around in the dirt. Maybe? Instead, once I got into full tree trimming and power weeding mode, she announced she was going inside.

Then. It. Happened. It turns out we live on a major bike route. Someday, if you bike from downtown Olympia to the Westside, you will go right by our house. In an hour, 15-20 cyclists went by. Of all sizes and shapes. After a kitted-out BTorian passed on his mountain bike, he turned back and said, “Is that Ron Byrnes?!”

A little later Suzie, the owner of a downtown art gallery stopped on her ginormous Specialized e-bike. And we talked and talked and talked. She asked me when I’m getting an e-bike, which in hindsight, prob shoulda prepared me for the Burgerville bullshit.

And then Burke, from two houses down came over, and we talked. About how middle schoolers care about one thing, peer relations, and therefore will say ANYTHING to preserve them.

Long story short, in one hour I spontaneously interacted with more people than I did in eight years at our Nature Park residence. Which is good for me, because I’m an introvert.

So six miles and 65 points later, I’m damn near a social butterfly. A slight exaggeration, but don’t hate me because you ain’t me.

*Last week, when I was in too big of a hurry, I may have left my Costco cart against a curb in the parking lot instead of returning it to the cart stand. A women in a minivan slow rolled right by me, GLARED at me and then WAGGED her finger at me as if I had just run over a kitten and a puppy. It was so over the top, it didn’t have the intended effect. Instead of feeling shamed, I felt amused and amazed that I could annoy her that easily.

Boycott Burgerville

Every year this time of year, Mount Bachelor calls, and some crazed cycling friends and I answer. I will not run or swim this week, just turn the pedals. Over and over. Big ups to the daughters for looking after their momsie.

When I travel, I mentally prep by imagining all the bad things happening, canceled flight, middle seat, etc. In this road trip case, construction delays, accidents, and who knows what else.

And therein lies the problem, my imagination wasn’t up to anticipating today’s crisis. There I was pulling into Burgerville for an early lunch before juicing up the electric whip in Sandy. Because I always try to eat healthy during Big Weeks, I said to the speaker, “I’ll have a 16 ounce strawberry shake.” Don’t judge me, it’s fruit, right?!

“$5.99 at the second window.” “Okay, thanks.”

Then, right as I began to finally empty my bulging coin purse, it happened. The crisis I did not anticipate.

“Oh. Senior discount. $5.39.”

Nevermind the carbon fiber bike in the back of the $40k car, Oregon thinks I deserve an “old person” rebate of 60 cents. Hey Oregon, how about discounting Millennial milkshakes since most of them, unlike me weren’t born at the right time to the right two parent family.

Senior discounts don’t make any sense for the half of seniors doing well. But this story isn’t about flawed economic and tax policies. It’s about my ego and how a woman at Burgerville shattered it. It may take all week to recover.

The Move Do Over

Dan Dan the Retired Transportation Man wasn’t having my tongue planted firmly in-cheek misrepresentation of our new digs. In hindsight, it was dumb to try to pull the wool over everyone’s eyes after inviting DDRTM and his lovely bride to the new crib.

Here’s the new east-facing downtown Olympia, WA/Mount Rainier view from the backyard deck yesterday aft. If I had panned to the left, you’d see the Port of Olympia, to the right, the Capital Dome in all its liberal Democrat glory (until Bird is elected).

In fairness to my playing fast and loose with the truth, we are a half a mile from the urban core and you can almost see the aforementioned alley in this picture.

The truth of the matter is the move was not the result of too much nature, but you knew that already because you’ve read me enough to detect sarcasm. And there’s no such thing as too much nature. Nature is like Costco’s chocolate Tuxedo cake, you can never have too much.

All I think I can safely say is the move was a result of the Good Wife’s considerable health challenges. Maybe I can say a little more without getting into trouble, Walking up and down stairs more specifically.

I am keenly aware of my privilege, moving from one very nice house with amazing views to another beautiful, like-new house with a very nice view. The material comforts are less important than the fact that the new crib works a lot better for the GalPal. It’s just a bonus that I can mow the front and back lawns in about 5-7 minutes.

One wonders, what will I do with all the saved “yard” time? A few things. I will use some of it to craft more subtle and nuanced made up stories that even DDRTM cannot detect. And the rest to ponder who the hell the “we” is when Orange Jesus says, “We are so innocent”.

Health Fads and Fictions

Health Fads and Fictions: VO2 Max, Supplement Mania, Sunlight, and Immortality.

You know what “they” say, “Common sense is not common.” Well worth a listen. Two critiques. They don’t pay enough attention to how to help sedentary people begin moving and there’s no mention of the role genetics play in longevity.

Jenny Breuer For The Win

Breuer teaches entrepreneurship at a Texas high school and coaches sophomore Elizabeth Leachman, the most talented female high school runner in the country. And it’s not particularly close.

The whole Leachman story is so countercultural, meaning tremendously upbeat. Leachman seems unusually grounded for her age in part because her parents know Breuer has their daughter’s long-term interest at heart.

Meaning Breuer is not overdoing Leachman’s training like too many other coaches would.

From Runner’s World:

“The coach and the runner sometimes challenge each other. Leachman wants to do more. Breuer wants her to stay healthy and develop over time. ‘I’m always pulling her back,’ Breuer said. ‘Err on the side of caution.'”

Also of note in this day and age, you won’t find Leachman on Instagram.

“’I think if it was fully up to me, I probably would have it,’ Leachman said. ‘But my parents don’t want me to, and I’m okay with it. I haven’t really fought it.'”

Breuer again:

“’We talk a lot about external expectations, and just because you’re good at running doesn’t mean that it’s everything that defines you,’ Breuer said. ‘That’s what’s really hard, I think, for a 16-year-old to remember sometimes when the spotlight is on. I try to remove that pressure as much as possible and remind her that this is supposed to be fun.'”

This story makes me think maybe the world is not going to hell in a handbasket after all. Just outside of view, there’s excellent parenting going on coupled with thoughtful/caring coaching; resulting in a happy, healthy, and scary quick young athlete.

As in a 9:44 two mile. . . 5:03, 4:41. And a 15:25 5k.

The Coach of the Year one more time:

“’She has a really good perspective. Her parents have done a super job.’ And also, I say, ‘I want you to be an amazing college runner, I want you to be an amazing professional runner, if that’s what you want to do. We don’t want you to peak in high school. That’s not the goal.’”

Postscript—hard not to root for this dude.

Phenomenon To Ponder

Karen Kreider Yoder’s story perfectly captures 2024.

“It was a June afternoon in the Rockies just after I retired when we agreed that we must be turning into ghosts.

We had been cycling in the mountains since breaking camp before dawn, and we decided to splurge on a private room in a hostel. We checked in and headed through to the bike-storage area, walking our rig by young hostelers congregated in the common spaces.

We must have been a sight: two bedraggled 60-somethings pushing a tandem bicycle laden like a pack mule.

Except no one seemed to see us.

We crossed the living room, where 20-something hikers with ruddy faces studied their computer screens. No one looked up. We inched through the kitchen, where others were sautéing onions for a group meal. ‘Excuse us. Sorry to interrupt,’ one of us said as we squeezed through. ‘That sure smells good.’

They turned a bit, giving us space. But not a word. Not a ‘How’s it going?’ nor ‘Where’d you come from?’ nor ‘Cool rig.’ Nor eye contact.”