You are anxious and want to take a “cognitive behavioral therapy” approach to becoming less anxious. Meaning more practice exposing yourself to anxiety inducing content. Or maybe your life is just way too peaceful and you want/need more drama.

I have just the thing. The “Thurston County Scanner, News, and Weather” Facebook site. Which reveals the seamy underside of ThursCounty. Let’s get down and dirty and embrace the underside. Shall we?

Exhibit A. May 15th. Olympia Police Department are responding to the Olympia Farmer’s Market for a report of a naked man with a beard, dancing on the stage. While coming in the area, law enforcement had eyes on the male and reported that he was now wearing pants.

Of all places to nude bomb, why the bucolic center of our charming community?! My fave part of this report is the phrase “man with a beard” as if there were multiple dancing nudies. Thank you for that helpful detail.

Get’s worser.

Exhibit B. May 16th. Another peaceful day at the Olympia Farmers Market was interrupted when Olympia Police Department responded to reports of a male who had climbed onto the roof of Pithos Gyros and began urinating from the roof. After finishing his business, he continued wandering around the rooftop. The subject is also said to be associated with a second individual inside the market. No word on what inspired the elevated decision-making, but we can confirm the Farmers Market does not currently offer rooftop restroom facilities. It does not sound like he has been located.

So, if you’re like me, and enjoy frequenting the Olympia Farmer’s Market, prepare yourself for more than flowers, fruit and veggies, and snow cones. Sheriff Sanders reply, “I hate it when I find myself on the roof of an unassuming business and nature calls” for the win.