If You’re Under 50 Years Old

You should be a fanatical Bear fan. No, not the hapless football team in Chicago, the bear stock market. You should be rooting for further losses, more blood letting, a crash for the ages even. For several years, it’s been impossible to get the first half of the investing equation right—buying low. Stocks are still fairly pricey, but if you’re a youngster of say 29 or 39 or 49, and you have any savings, do what you can to maintain the downward momentum. Don’t just sit there. Use your “go to” personal curses on the Fed. Write JP and tell him to raise interest rates to 10%. Start a war in a distant land and wreak additional havoc on supply chains.

Similarly, mobilize with other youth to pop the housing bubble. Get JP to raise interest rates to 10% so no one can afford a mortgage. Then go full-Amish and build a bunch of homes together to increase supply.

Down, down, down go equity and home prices. You got this.