Category Archives: Politics

I Drive A Tesla (E)

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Hi, my name is Ron, and I drive a Tesla.

I’ve labelled this “explicit” because DanDanTheTranspoMan is the last person in the room with some semblance of clean cut, Midwest values. And he doesn’t like it when I write like George Carlin talked.

I bought a red Model Y with a tow hitch for the two-wheelers two years ago. The frictionless purchase process makes you wonder why anyone ever subjects themself to the conventional dealer experience. Brilliant.

And it’s outstanding transpo. Utterly amazing. There are are innumerable things to criticize the CEO (in name) about, but those who criticize the cars are being disingenuous.

Two weeks in, I somehow avoided a crash in Bend, OR as a result of one of the computers which stopped the car much more quickly than I could’ve. I also dig how it silently and ever so smoothly and slowly creeps in and around parking lots and in inner city Oly. With the home charger, it’s always ready for a good time. And it’s a fast motherfucker.* Rest assured, I’ll never be pinched in entering the fwy.

Of course, there are a few downsides. The insurance costs. The automatic wipers have a mind of their own, so much so, I have to manually set them. Oof, and most especially, the depreciation.

Oh, and I almost forgot, there’s the enriching of one of the most loathsome of the 8.062 billion people alive today.

And the increasing grief that comes with being associated with him. Which just recently started with this winsome greeting from a fellow driver, “You fuckin’ douche bag.” I told friends, I didn’t recognize him, but he obviously knew me! And yesterday, a woman on the other side of the road flipped me the bird.

Normally, being a modern, sensitive guy and all, these “greetings” would leave a mark. But these are not normal times. Both times I was picking up prescriptions at the pharmacy for my ailing wife. Caring for her has changed me. What constitutes a problem keeps getting redefined. The bar, for what gets to me, keeps getting raised.

The other day, on a cycling reprieve, I got soaked in much more rain than I had anticipated. I thought to myself of the revered philosopher, Jay-Z, and his “99 Problems” treatise.

Ninety-nine problems, but a bitch ain’t one
If you’re havin’ girl problems, I feel bad for you, son
I got ninety-nine problems, but a bitch ain’t one – hit me!

I’ve got ninety-nine problems, but being soaked, cold, and filthy ain’t one I thought to myself.

Maybe that’s why I laughed to myself when the rando woman flipped me the bird yesterday at the Fifth Street circle.

Then I thought I should probably prepare for the next encounter and the next. My plan is to channel the restaurant or Airbnb owners when they get scathing reviews. Something along the lines of, “I am sorry my car purchase has angered you so much. But thank you very much for your feedback. Please know I will take your middle finger and/or invective into consideration as I work to be a better person.”

No doubt my mix of zen and humor will disappear if and when my car is vandalized. If I parked it downtown with any regularity, there’s no doubt that would happen sooner than later. I have a $1k deductible, so fuck you in advance.

So maybe I should trade it in for something more socially acceptable. Which of course, doesn’t solve the larger problem. Still, in prep for that possibility, please let me know which carmakers you approve of so I may avoid offending you in the future.

*Now that DDTTM isn’t over shoulder, I feel freed up.

Everything Is Going To Be Alright

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Now that it’s looking like the Demos have a Presidential candidate who is two decades younger than the other teams. The Other Team is livid at the eighth inning substitution which is as clear an indication as there is that everything is going to be alright.

Or is it?

Hardly anyone is paying attention to the most recent sign that the U.S. is in decline. The (d)USA Olympic basketball team was down 14 to South Sudan at halftime of their recent Olympics tune-up. And won by 1 point thanks to LeBron’s last second heroics.

South Sudan. Do the South Sudanese players not understand the concept of American exceptionalism? In case not, here’s a primer.

Because I like to keep it real, I’m going to tell you what no one else will. It doesn’t do a nation any good to be “unique and even morally superior. . . for historical, ideological, or religious reasons” if that country doesn’t box out and clean the glass.

I Feel You Joe

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“Biden plans to resume campaigning,” the lead article on the New York Times website right now reports, “as more Democrats urge him to quit.”

We know how this ends. With him quitting. But man, I for one salute his stubbornness because whenever everyone tells me to do something, like find a therapist, I instinctively don’t want to do it. And the more they push, the more I resist.

Maybe that’s human nature more generally?

There is one notable difference between Joe and me though. My knee-jerk contrariness does not threaten the future of our democracy.

Paragraph To Ponder

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John Gruber:

“So here is what the Democrats should do. Tomorrow morning Chuck Schumer should put on the floor of the Senate a law mandating strict background checks for all gun purchases. Perhaps tie it to a reinstitution of the 1994 assault weapons ban that Republicans allowed to expire in 2004. Give it a name like the ‘Anti Political and School Violence Act’. Make Republicans shoot it down. Make them say, as Trump himself did after a school shooting massacre in Iowa this year, that we ‘have to get over it, we have to move forward.’ It’s not just an outrage when your right-wing authoritarian hero gets his ear nicked by an assassin’s bullet. It’s an outrage when anyone is shot by a nut with a gun.”

Pause and reflect on the last mindless phrase in an otherwise thoughtful paragraph. . . “a nut with a gun”. Consider an alternative description. A desperate, socially isolated person with nothing to hope for in the future, and therefore, nothing to lose.

An experienced former FBI investigator speculated on the shooter’s motives in ways that made imminent sense and will likely prove correct. The gunman was bullied in school, eccentric, and most importantly, socially awkward and isolated. The investigator called him “The Invisible Man” and compared him to Hinckley who wasn’t political at all. Hinckley shot Reagan to get the attention of an actress.

The Invisible Man can only take so much invisibility and commits a horrific act of violence to be seen. By any means necessary. Now, everyone knows his name and he will be remembered. Extremely negatively of course, but remembered nonetheless.

Ever notice the similarities among mass shooters? White, male, working class, bullied in school, socially isolated, parent(s) with guns.

The descriptor “nuts” suggests a randomness that defies reality. Reality is not every white, male, working class, bullied in school, socially isolated young adult with access to guns decides there’s nothing to lose. But what if 1 or 2 percent do?

That’s the country we’re living in.