Apple’s New AirTags

Will help you find whatever you’re likely to lose. $29 for one or $99 for four. Not because I need four, but because I can’t pass up a deal, I’ll be buying them in bulk. Designed primarily for keys, wallets, pet collars and the sort, I’m gonna think different and distribute them thusly.

  • My golf ball
  • My mind
  • My idealism
  • My boyish good looks