Weekend Assorted Links

1. Nearly all middle school teachers are highly stressed.

“The largest group, 66%, reported high stress and high coping. Nearly one-third of the participants, 28%, reported high stress and low coping. Only 6% of middle school teachers reported low levels of stress and high coping ability.”

2. Eleven minutes: A call from Kobe Bryant. Jayson Reynolds is an exceptional young adult author.

3. The killer(s) on the road: reducing your risk of automotive death.

“If I die in the next 10 years, the most probable ‘murder weapon’ is my vehicle or another vehicle on the road.”

4. All children are gifted—just in different ways.

“I’m sorry, but no school board, no group of parents has the right to label one homogeneous group of children ‘gifted’ based on the criteria established by the parents of those children and then consign the rest of the students to programs for the ‘not gifted’. That’s what happens.”

5. Can this one super-prospect revive the greatest dynasty in sports?

“She’s as good as anybody I’ve seen with the ball in her hands.”

Confusion and Gratitude

I find social media birthday celebrations confusing. Is getting tons of “happy birthday today” messages from Facebook “friends” even a little gratifying? It strikes me as such a weird phenomenon of our modern age that I’m not telling anyone on-line that it’s my birthday today.

Another thing that has me confused. A national coffee chain sent me an email for a free drink or food item today for some reason and I can’t decide what to do because my home lattes are better than theirs and it’s not even close when it comes to my home oatmilk-based oatmeal topped with avocado, blueberries, salted pepitas, and cinnamon. Maybe I’ll flip a coin, sell whatever I get at a discount to someone else in line, and then send that two or three dollars to a moderate Democrat running for president. Give him or her a little boost to get over the top.

Besides confusion, I’m feeling gratitude today for my parents for providing such a loving base on which to build an amazing life. I miss them. And gratitude, as well, for the Good wife, daughters, friends, and people who regularly stop by the humble blog.

Monday Assorted Links

1. What to do when you’re fired.

“The owner came up to me and said, ‘I’ve been thinking, why should I pay you when I can do what you do?’ And he let me go,’ said Carroll, 51, of Macomb Township. ‘I was driving home, crying my eyes out, to tell you the truth. I thought, ‘What are you going to do? How are you going to make it?’”

One resilient dude with a bullet-proof business philosophy.

“I take care of things. If you take care of one person, it turns into 10. If you do one person bad, it turns into 100.”

2. The Disneyfication of a University. Not sure whether to laugh or cry.

“We were given ‘Service Priorities’ table-tent cards, conveniently sized for our pocketbooks and billfolds so we can whip them out whenever we needed to remind ourselves how we change the world. These cards offer a series of declarative statements—pabulum, some might say—about our “care” priorities. Here’s a sample: ‘I support a caring environment by greeting, welcoming, and thanking others.’ To help us care for others, the university has established a ‘positive vibes submission’ website, where we ‘can send a positive vibe to someone.’ It was hard to detect many positive vibes in the workshop itself.”

3. The latest recipient of the Presidential Medal of Freedom in his own words. Will the reward ever recover?

4A. Pay equity for skiers and snowboarders. 4B. The battle against crowded ski hills.

5. Is this what progress looks like? U, G, L, Y, you ain’t got no alibi, you ugly!

On Mourning

Conventional wisdom is sometimes wrong, but when it comes to mourning, it’s correct. Everyone mourns differently, some inwardly and quietly, others with much more feeling. Some mourn briefly, others for extended lengths of time. There is no right way to mourn, the key is to respect everyone’s individual approach.

At the same time, the recent passing of Kobe Bryant, the other eight victims of the helicopter crash, and also Leila Janah, have me thinking more about death.

Intense grieving for the likes of Kobe and Leila makes perfect sense given their relative youth, 41 and 37 years old respectively. In that same spirit, one of the most sad passings I’ve ever observed was that of a friend’s 7 year-old son. We are understandably most saddened by people who do not get to experience the full arc of life.

And yet, Kobe, Leila, and my friend’s son left the world a better place. Leila, for example, founded a company that . . .

“. . . employs more than 2,900 people in Kenya, Uganda and India, creating data for companies around the world that need to test numerous artificial intelligence products, including self-driving cars and smart hardware. The company has helped more than 50,000 people lift themselves out of poverty and has become one of the largest employers in East Africa. . . .”

And as we’re learning, Kobe’s imprint was also large, most significantly off the court through his parenting, writing, and support for technology startups, young athletes, and women’s professional sports.

My friend’s son’s legacy was less public, but still profound, a lasting impact on his family, classmates, and community. Until cancer appeared in his blood, he was pure joy, a natural peacemaker.

To me, the saddest deaths are those of people who do not leave even some small sliver of the world better off. People whose words and actions didn’t console, inspire kindness, or help others be more humane. Those are the passings we should grieve the most.

 

Weekend Assorted Links

1. Jia Tolentino on “The Pitfalls and Potential of the New Minimalism.” Strong opening paragraph.

“The new literature of minimalism is full of stressful advice. Pack up all your possessions, unpack things only as needed, give away everything that’s still packed after a month. Or wake up early, pick up every item you own, and consider whether or not it sparks joy. See if you can wear just thirty-three items of clothing for three months. Know that it’s possible to live abundantly with only a hundred possessions. Don’t organize—purge. Digitize your photos. Get rid of the things you bought to impress people. Downsize your apartment. Think constantly about what will enable you to live the best life possible. Never buy anything on sale.”

2. Goldendoodle has new purpose.

3. A not so genius move. I feel really badly for him.

“Six years ago to the day, a pre-presidential Donald Trump said on Twitter that he sold his Apple shares, complaining about the fact that the company at the time didn’t sell an iPhone with a smaller screen. Assuming Apple’s post-earnings stock gains holds through the open of the markets on Wednesday, its price will have gone up 356% from the day of Trump’s tweet in 2014.”

4. San Fransisco bans cars on Market Street.

“San Francisco’s car-free move is part of a wave of cities around the globe pedestrianizing their downtown cores and corridors, from New York City to Madrid to Birmingham. And there are signs that SF’s effort will not end at Market Street: Local officials in the city are calling to remove cars from other sections of the city.”

5. An interview with the woman who wrote the viral 1,000 word job listing for a “Household Manager/Cook/Nanny”. $35-$40/hour to river swim? I’m in.

Improving One’s Social Skills

Eric Ravenscraft of The New York Times has “An Adult’s Guide to Social Skills, for Those Who Were Never Taught.”

Very interesting idea for which I give Eric a “B”. It’s fine, some good ideas, but they aren’t fleshed out very well. Ultimately, I can’t imagine anyone making a significant leap forward in their social life as a result of reading it.

Which begs some questions, first, can adults improve their social skills when they are so ingrained? Let’s think positively and say they can to some degree. But how, if not by reading The New York Times guide?

Have you learned to get along with more people over time? If so, what might others do to replicate your success?

 

Weekend Assorted Links

1. “Jaywalking” Shouldn’t Even Be A Thing.

“Jaywalking isn’t dangerous in itself. Fast-moving cars are dangerous. And in fact, just as people are the indicator species of a strong town, rampant jaywalking is most often a sign of a vital place and a successful urban street.”

Amen brother.

2. On starting ballet at age 62. DIG the ironic first sentence (in light of #1). Such a beautiful essay.

Early:

“Maybe I wouldn’t hate it. I didn’t hate it. I didn’t hate it so much that almost right from the beginning I was in tears—that peculiar sort of crying that comes from joy that surprises you.”

Late-middle:

“I’m surrounded by people who are not ‘dancers’ but have made dance a significant part of their lives. Judith is an epidemiologist, 10 years older than I am. Mallory is a pediatric nurse, Lindsey a clinical social worker. Charity homeschools her five children. Danielle is teaching 10 classes this year in seven different university departments and has a 5-year-old daughter. Rian is a fashion model, manages a grocery store, and runs a business out of his home. All of my dance friends have busy, interesting, complicated lives. And yet here we are, day after day, leading with our hearts. . . ”

Very end:

“Sometimes, for a moment, I make precisely the shape I have been seeking to make for months, years, and it is a kind of holy experience, something that goes even beyond the surprise that I am fully living in my body for the first time in my life. I am in balance: entirely at one with myself, body and mind, never posing, always in flux, poised for the next thing.”

3. How Frank Vogel won over the Lakers. Really well written case study on leadership. Too bad Domingo, a friend who mentors leaders for a living, won’t read it because he has some sort of hangup with the NBA.

“Poll any NBA roster — particularly a veteran one — for the most important attribute for a head coach, and accountability will likely rank second to trust. Players want to know that the staff will set standards for performance and will enforce those standards with consistency, from superstar to the end of the bench.

After a lackluster defensive performance earlier this month against the New Orleans Pelicans in which the Lakers allowed 68 points in the paint on 67% shooting, Vogel unleashed his fury in an exhaustive film session featuring a sequence of defensive snafus.

“He got on all of us — me, LeBron, everyone. A lot of coaches don’t get on their superstars, but he does,” Davis says. “What’s impressed me the most is that even when we win, he holds us accountable. When a team sees a coach getting on LeBron or me, the other guys respect him more and know they’ll be held accountable too.”

In their next game, the Lakers set a franchise record with 20 blocks in a win. . .”

4. The Quinceañera, Redefined. Pick your metaphor, melting pot or mosaic; either way, multiculturalism rules. 

“In Bakersfield, Calif., on the same day as Jayla’s quince, Amina Sherif Hamza, 14, had a quinceañera that honored her Muslim faith. Underneath her embroidered black dress she wore a long-sleeve shirt to cover her arms, and she ditched the tradition of having a chambelán and celebrating a Catholic Mass.

Amina, whose father is Egyptian and whose mother is of Guatemalan, Honduran and Native American descent, is part of a horse riding club that competes in escaramuza, a form of traditional Mexican riding and performance done only by women.

So she incorporated that too, appearing at the beginning of the ceremony astride her mother’s horse Chispa. ‘My dad speaks Arabic and my mom speaks to me in Spanish,’ she said. ‘It’s a taste of both worlds.'”

See the beautiful picture of Amina and her horse.

5. Cottage Grove church to usher out gray-haired members in effort to attract more parishioners. All I have to say to this is, yikes! However, I’d probably make the cut since I have very little gray hair. Granted, very little hair at all.

“The church wants to attract more young families. The present members, most of them over 60 years old, will be invited to worship somewhere else. A memo recommends that they stay away for two years, then consult the pastor about reapplying.”

 

Fall Of The United States

Few citizens are sufficiently objective to see that the United States is in steady decline. Even when they see explicit evidence of it, they’re psychologically unable to acknowledge it. 

Trumpeters in particular are in serious denial.

Which is why Frank Bruni’s insight in, “Let Us All Now Weep for Donald Trump”, is so perceptive.  

Of Trump, Bruni writes:

“He has turned himself into a symbol of Americans’ victimization, telling frustrated voters who crave easy answers that they’re being pushed around by foreigners and duped by the condescending custodians of a dysfunctional system.

He’s their proxy, suffering on their behalf, and in that way he collapses the distance between a billionaire with multiple golf resorts and displaced factory workers struggling to hold on to their one and only homes.”

That’s the most convincing description of Trump’s appeal to his base that I’ve read.