Tag Archives: travel

With Apologies To My Sissy

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Who often reminds me, as only a loving big sissy can, “It’s not all about you, Ron.” But this post might be. 😜

A subset of humble blog readers, who also happen to be personal friends, have reached out to see how I’m doing post bike accident. Which I’ve greatly appreciated. Here’s more than they, and you, prob wanna know. If my sissy has read this far, she’s rolling her eyes.

Five of us were enjoying a truly beautiful spring day, sunny, 50’s, meaning built-in air conditioning. In a pace-line, we were two hours into a two hour and twenty minute ride, baring down on Tumwater High School at 20-22mph thanks to a slight tailwind.

I was fifth of five. The lead rider, who has been relegated to Witness Protection, did not point out a small, but deep divot in the road. Remember sports fans, whenever you’re on the front, your main responsibility is to the be the eyes for the whole train. Rider number four hit the devilish divit head on, and as a result, slowed quite a bit. I was sitting my customary three feet behind him and didn’t have enough time to avoid riding into his back wheel. At the last fraction of a second, I turned my wheel to avoid his, but all that did was create an angle that launched me dead left into and across the center of the road. Picture a rock skimming across a glassy pond.

My skimming across the pavement happened right in front of a kind and caring woman on the way to work. Had she left for work 20-30 seconds earlier she very well could’ve ran over me. She checked on me and called it in while my friends looped back to provide additional/wonderful support. Soon, a bevy of young male firefighters began asking me questions and poking and prodding me. If I was gay, I would’ve immediately started feeling better. They asked me who the President was, and I said, “Oh man, I feel badly enough already.”

My friends studied my helmet and saw that there were no scratches and so everyone knew my compromised cognition was just my normal state of being. While I was sliding across the road, I was sure I’d broken my collar bone or hip or both. When I came to a stop and was able to sit up and eventually get to the side of the road, I was pleasantly surprised to discover that apart from road rash on my right shoulder, elbow, and knee, all the damage was confined to my right rib cage. Which hurt like a motherfecker.

The fire boys recommended I go to the hospital for a more thorough eval, but they have to say that, right? One also stated with a wink what all my cycling friends and I already know from experience, there’s absolutely nothing they can do for broken ribs.

Meanwhile my friends were putting my chain back on and checking out CanRon, the name of my newish whip, which remarkably, was almost entirely unscathed, maybe because it first bounced off me instead of the road.

Then, I somehow rode it home chapperoned by the team until we got to Deschutes Falls Park and then BC rode with me all the way into the garage atop the Fifth Street Bridge. There’s only two explanations for how I made it home under my own power. Stupidity and adrenaline.

The first night was scary. I had help at dinner, but afterwards, when alone, I was unable to move. I could hear my ribs rattling when breathing, which was even painful. My doc cycling friend who fancies himself a comedian, advised, “Just don’t move or breath.” Eventually, I tried to get into bed, but ended up half on the edge of the mattress and half off. Then, I couldn’t get off the edge of the bed. There may have been a lot of moaning and even tears. Masculinity is overrated.

Eventually, I had a good idea, which like the aurora borealis, happens on occasion. The recliner for the win. Somehow, I slept as well in it as in bed. And that continues to be the case.

I read it takes twelve weeks to recover, but my doc cycling comedian friend texted this yesterday, “You can do activities as tolerated. It should start getting better about 2 weeks after the injury. It will be mostly gone by 6 to 8 weeks.”

The good news is I am way, way better already, six days in. Yesterday, I walked 1.25 miles to the gym, cycled for 30 minutes, and walked home. Just don’t ask me what kind of watts I was pushing. It’s amazing to be able to go from sitting to standing without feeling like someone is jamming a huge butcher knife right into my side. Now, it’s more of a butter knife.

So, my goal is to be back running, cycling, and lastly swimming, closer to six weeks than eight. I mean I need to be ready for the start of the Tour de France in early July. And time is wasting.

Unlike me, the white Oakley frames did not survive the crash. And for the unusually observant, energy gel in cheek, not chewing tabacco.

Little League Legend

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Sometime in the middle of my recent California cycling adventure, I wondered, what are we even doing, turning the pedals, for hours, every day?

The only thing I could come up with was extending our childhoods. We were men and women consciously choosing to be boys and girls of old.

Then, my peabrain shifted to my earliest memories of cycling in Louisville, KY in the late 1960s. When first learning to ride a bike, I remember someone, guessing an older sib, holding the seat and running alongside me until they weren’t. And then I remember swerving bigly, a few times right into metal mailboxes that dotted the edge of the road. Like Louisville’s own Cassius Clay, down goes Ron! Eventually, I swerved less and less.

My earliest, most vivid, fullblown cycling memory, was a year or two later, when I was dominating the kickball field at Zachary Taylor Elementary. It was this exact time of year, April, and Little League baseball tryouts were right around the corner.

Six or seven years old, my pals and I knew we needed a few hours of spring training before tryouts, so we laced our gloves onto some Louisville sluggers and laid them across our handlebars which we balanced precariously with balls bulging from our pockets. And then headed to a very nice, very large park, about a mile or two from our dented mailboxes.

Once we got to the park, we noticed the tennis courts sat under about 10 inches of water that had, until recently, been snow and ice covered. Maybe, we thought, as we took off our shoes and socks, we should splash around the courts a bit before officially starting spring training.

Within a few minutes, I sliced the bottom of my foot by stepping on a metal twist off beer top. The water turned red and I grew faint-headed. Someone hurriedly called my mom who lit into me. Since I’m the youngest of four, she was DONE with emergency rooms. On the way to get ten stiches, she got all up in my grill and said, “IF YOU EVER TAKE YOUR SHOES AND SOCKS OFF AND CUT YOUR FOOT AGAIN, DON’T CALL ME!” Which is pretty damn funny now, given how kind and caring she normally was. Everyone has a breaking point.

I think this was a Thursday and tryouts were all day Saturday. Even though Spring Training was cancelled on account of blood, I rallied, and showed up at tryouts on crutches. Shagging fly balls like a young Ken Griffey and even chucking the crutches and hobbling into the batters box to take some ferocious cuts like a young Andy Pages. A legend in both Louisville Little League history and my own mind.

Needless to say, the coaches were impressed with my pluck. I vaguely remember a bidding war breaking out. I told the coach that finally landed me that I didn’t want a bag, but if he could do something nice for my mom, like maybe comp her snow cones for the season, I’d greatly appreciate it.

The legend, with a scar on the bottom of his foot, fourth from the left.

Fallbrook To San Diego

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And that’s a wrap. What a week. Went even better than imagined. New roads and scenery, amazing weather, groovy new friends.

And everything, I mean everything, broke right for me. Water stops, food donations, local knowledge of the best routing, no flats or mechanicals, and on and on. Guardian angel(s)?

Exiting Fallbrook involved a lot of rollers, but I was feeling pretty good after the rest day, and we made quick work of them. As soon as things leveled out, a local legend was waiting for us with a suggested safer route. Which was cool. We weaved through backroads and neighborhoods until dropping onto a long nice bike path that took us all the way to Oceanside.

In Oceanside, we had to improvise because a thousand Oceanside 70.3 Half Ironperson athletes were smack dab in the middle of our planned route. So rude. Actually, as a lapsed triathlete who still follows the niche sport closely, it was really cool to catch glimpses of the leading men flying on their way to the finish.

In Oceanside, a former regular on this annual ride, a guy who sat out this year because of anticipated heat, prepared an amazing spread for us in a little park with the help of his wife. Ice cream, cookies, strawberry lemonade, and more. Amazing gesture.

After that, Skip and Chuck and I made like a 1988 Taco Bell commercial and made a run for the border skipping the Potato Shack where the bulk of the crew stopped to replenish and soak in the glorious coastline. Their pics prove they had even more fun than us.

There was an incident. I may have snapped at Skip. At one point, we were weaving through residential Del Mar one block from PCH (Pacific Coast Highway if you’re not quite as cool). I turned one intersection before Skip. Chuck was drifting a bit off the back and lost sight of me. Skip kinda barked at me that Chuck had lost me. I didn’t understand why he was so annoyed. I knew where Chuck was and rode through an alley to reconnect. We were separated for all of 60 seconds. Still, Skip was so damn tense. Riding bikes, in the sun, in one of the most beautiful spots in the world.

By the time we hit the base of Torrey Pines he was even more annoyed with the humble blogger because I was riding too far ahead. So I lost it, “Why are you so pissed at me and everything all the time?! I can wait at the top!” “Okay, go ahead and chase your KOM then.” Because I hit it I hard I had ample time at the top to plan an exquisite apology.

“Skip, I’m sorry,” I started. “Forget it,” he replied. Okay, avoid conflict much? What can you do except drag the world’s best apology into the trash can icon at the bottom right of the screen. You can’t force someone to listen and work through something if they refuse to.

Skip really knew the last 30 miles. Even owns a house in the middle of those miles that he rents out. So he pulled and pulled and pulled. Until Mission Bay. Then a gritty bike path. Then, nirvana, the Motel 6 where it all began. Whew, Skips rig was fully intact.

Thirty minutes later, we headed north. Nearly eleven hours later, we arrived at Chez Griffin in Sacramento. I showered and jumped in bed literally 5 minutes before I was going to turn into a pumpkin. The next morning started with banana pancakes and coffee. Bookending the trip at Chez Griffin is prob why the week broke like it did. They are amazing friends and the world’s best hosts.

Sunday was NorCal, Oregon, and home. Always amazed at how beautiful Northern California is. But don’t sleep on Oregon with the baby lambs, sheep, and llama farms.

To quote Casey Musgraves, “Oh, what a world.”

Postscript. Thanks to Dean for the zen picture. He went above and beyond to capture ZenRon.

Fallbrook Hotel. A no fun zone.
Namaste.
Don’t know the name. Lynn would be so disappointed.
Again with the elite refueling.
Wonder how I actually gained a few lbs?
Blummenfelt lucky I was not shipped to the race start. :)
My peeps in high school. Smallish waves.

The young hellions were running the signs. Go figure, even though we have far less time to live, we opted for a preponderance of caution.
Leaving SD we spotted Porsche getting my electric Cayenne dialed.

Palm Desert To Hemet

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There are better ways to start your day. I was maybe a mile in to today’s stage when this flashed across the bottom half of the Hammerhead Karoo head unit, “Climb 1, 24 miles, 5,000′.” Mother sucker. Or something of that sort.

Beautiful desert/mountain scenery that I was working way too hard to fully enjoy. Working hard doesn’t mean going fast. I was more conservative than your MAGA uncle who ruined last Thanksgiving. At one point, Matt, one of the Bay Area Boys, passed me like I was standing still.

No real shoulder to speak of. Cars flying by. Death grip on the bars. And you may not know this because you’re way faster than me, but it’s hard to hold a line when you’re doing 7-8 mph.

Three hours to get to the top where several guardian angels appeared in succession. First, Skip, today’s van driver, materialized out of thin air about 4 miles from the top with water right as I emptied my second bottle. Then, he drove ahead to the small/rural restaurant that doubles as a mail station for Pacific Coast Trail through hikers. There, Linda split her amazing breakfast with me. Then Skip split his with me too. Then some bikepacker who couldn’t finish his breakfast burrito at a nearby table, offered it up. Then Chucky Chuck gave me one-fourth of his tuna melt. I just sat there and vacuumed everyone’s sloppy seconds for an hour! It cost me the stage victory, but was SO worth it.

Griffin loved the descent. My bod is too broken down for me to have fully enjoyed it. Wrists hurt from all the braking, bony ass screaming for relief, lower back uber tight. Plus, I was thinking of Jeanette who told me, before I left, it’s “different having one parent”.

Following the 12 mile descent, the flat, hot run in to town was pretty uneventful except for Linda’s flat which was difficult to fix. No doubt Griffin’s fault. Once he flatted yesterday, others thought they’d join in. Since I smelled the barn, or in this case a gritty hotel, I did all the work. And no, to answer your question, neither Marky Mark or Chucky Chuck thanked me.

Couldn’t have completed today’s stage without last night’s desert. Hayden’s for the win.
Griffin’s desert game similarly strong.

From whence I came. Halfway to the top.
How do you spell guardian angel? L-i-n-d-a.
Packages awaiting PCT-ers
Pic across from the packages. WHO is this woman? I only ask because of the red hair.

Postscript. So disappointed in all of you. Walter and Jesse weren’t making cocaine in the desert in their RV, they were making meth. Let’s all commit to reading a little closer.

Hotel California

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Friday morning, I woke up in Washington State’s capital, per usual. Then I leapfrogged from Tumwater Costco to Medford Costco to California’s state capital and M and C Griffins Sacto crib*, hemorrhaging large swaths of my lifetime savings at the pump as I migrated south.

I was asked to deliver a message. Which I did.

Gav,

Eat the rich.

Bobby

Saturday’s tuneup ride was a flat, fun affair alongside the Sacto and American rivers. Well, except for trying to stay on MGriffins wheel when he got frustrated by my pedestrian pacing.

Today’s drive begins shortly. Destination San Diego where a week-long circumnavigation of the County awaits. 16 other crazies. Different California Hotel every night. Mark scaring me a bit by saying the group is “interesting” then just smiling evilly as if words don’t do them justice.

Your humble blogger will do his best to match their crazy. It will be fun to meet new people, ride new roads, and to dry out under blazing, cloudless sunshine. If only I wasn’t so undertrained. Don’t tell the crazies I’m a lil’ nervous.

Raise your hand if you’d like me to blog San Diego County bike week. Okay, thank you, you can put your hands down.

Raise your hand if you’re a numbers person and will (somehow) be content to just follow me on Strava. Okay, thank you, you can put your hands down.

Raise your hand if you’re of the same mind as my sissy who often reminds me, “Ron it’s not all about you.” Meaning, not only do you not want to know anything about how next week unfolds on the roads of San Diego County, but you’re deeply regretting even reading this intro.

The “please, please, please blog SDC cycling tour” contingent carries the day. Congratulations to them and everyone whose lives are about to be changed by my reporting.

Remember, when it comes to the humble blog, “You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.”

*If you ever get the chance to stay at Chez Griffin, take it. Bespoke hospitality marked by amazing food and conversation.

Postscript. If UCLA wins today, I’ll pick up the Crazies dinner tab. Oh wait, I forgot how much the drive is going to cost. Nevermind.

Solo Travel For The Win?

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I’m sure you feel the exact same as the Huntington Beach, CA PressingPauser who texted me during the crossing, “I do hope you’ll continue with hourly updates on your journey north.”

Told him my laptop was proving a very helpful distraction, but the truth of the matter is the Strait of Juan de Fuca chop wasn’t nearly as bad as I anticipated and I avoided any feeling of imminent death.

Checked in early and am now sitting in my room reflecting on just how freaky deaky solo travel is. First, I’m happy to report, I am capable of filling out a customs form all by myself. Who knew?

Did you know when you travel solo, and you have two queen beds, you can use the spare one as an open dresser. Clothes, cables, all sorts of travel accoutrements spread across it?! Pretty groovy. Grab and go.

And if you want to sit in a chair by the window, and let the sun cook you, all while reading and sipping green tea, you can! For as long as you want. Mind blown.

And you can decide where to go to dinner yourself without any conferencing or changing of minds. At all. The Fish Market for the win.

And, you better be sitting down for this. Turns out you can use both sides of the bathroom counter! Just sling that toothbrush one direction, the contact lens case another, and spread out all the beauty products as if you are the Grand Poobah of the Water Closet. Because you are! And twice as many soft clean towels!

Altogether, there’s a bizarre absence of friction. But sports fans, while that no doubt is highly enjoyable initially, over the medium, and fo sho’ long-term, it’s detrimental to someday making another relationship work. Because friction is the lifeblood of relationships, and the more intimate, the more friction. Feeling out what your partner wants and needs, negotiating differences, and ultimately striking repeated compromises is the name of the game.

So as I do exactly as I want, what is happening to my banger interpersonal skills? I’ll tell you what. They’re atrophying.

Dear (dis)United States of America,

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I’m off to Canada tomorrow. I know you will miss me. Gonna be rough, so many fond memories with Lynn. However, I am taking two friends. Seth Harp, in the form of his book, “The Fort Bragg Cartel: Drug Trafficking and Murder in the Special Forces”. And James Rebanks, in the form of his book, “The Place of Tides”.

Maybe I won’t run to Oak Bay. Maybe I won’t swim in the salt-based 25-meter pool underneath the hotel. Maybe I won’t sit in the steam room after not swimming in the pool. Maybe I won’t go to my fave restaurants or Victoria’s REI, MEC—Mountain Equipment Coop. Maybe I won’t go to “our” theatre. Maybe I’ll just cocoon with Harp and Rebanks. No outdoor equipment required for that. You know, just lean into the grief and Howard Hughes it.

If the Canadians look at my application for asylum, and conclude, “Oh, they don’t send their best.” I’ll be back midweek.

If I do have to return, I hope you will have used Monday to rethink your plan to completely disrupt the global world order and Tuesday to put it back together. I don’t think that’s too much to ask.

Arrows Here, There, and Everywhere

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I hit the road last week for the first time in 20 months. Drove a long, long ways. Overdosed on podcasts (Epstein Files, Artificial Intelligence, MF Doom–look him up). When the car came to a stop, I got on my bike and road it uphill in warm sunshine.

When my bike came to a stop, I titled a document, “What I’ve Lost”. It’s a shit inventory. If you’ve been reading me recently, you can correctly guess parts of my “What I’ve Lost” notes, but you would not guess this part, “Lost connection to PLU students—lost meaningful service, exercising unique skills, youthful exuberance.” I decided to stop teaching a year ago, but didn’t make it formal until a few months ago.

My timing on pulling the plug on work isn’t the best, but there would never be an easy time to let go of something that’s been so rewarding for so long. I hope the university will be okay.

Alison and Jeanette seem to be experiencing grief similarly to me. In waves. Or maybe, more accurately for me, waves of piercing arrows.

Something as simple as going out to dinner while on my inaugural road trip proved surprisingly fraught with unsuspecting arrows suddenly materializing out of thin air. Order a pizza. Then pass time in an eclectic shop next door. One that has very nice Valentine’s cards. Arrow One. Lynn called me the “Card King”. Like the flowers I’d get her, she always, always liked my cards. She kept most of them. “Now,” I think to myself as I start to get woozy from the loss of blood, “I’ll never get to buy her another.”

After pizza, gelato. I get a large cup with four different flavors. Arrow Two. “One more thing Lynn was right about,” I can’t help but think, “blackberry is the best”. I’ll never get to share a blackberry gelato with her again.

In the later parts of a recent bicycle ride, I got blindsided by Arrow Three. Never even saw the archer, but somehow stayed upright. Lynn and I had a silly ritual whenever I got home from a group ride. She’d excitedly ask, “Were you the Alpha Dog?” She’d be genuinely happy and proud whenever I said “yes” and incredulous when I’d say, “Some days you’re the hammer and some days you’re the nail.” Now, when I get home from a group ride, there’s no one to ask me how was the ride, who was there, what did you see? If no one asks about an activity, did it really happen?

Recently, Jeanette lamented, “I just don’t know where she is.” I offered that her mom was in our hearts, to the degree we emulate her. But, as these remarkably unremarkable stories illustrate, she’s almost always in my head too.

The Pandemic Lives

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When I press pause and reflect on the covid pandemic years, I can’t help but conclude we overcompensated for the very real public health risks. For example, now that we know more about the virus, I’m with a lot of people who have concluded we errored in closing schools for as long as we did. One weekend, our former governor even closed an outdoor park.

Like our former Luv Guv, except for the elderly, immune compromised, and otherwise physically vulnerable, many of us kind of lost our minds.

I can’t help but wonder if a covid pandemic “abundance of caution” mindset lives on in ways that might be related to the widespread conspiracy thinking that is so prevalent these days. Why? Because of the way some educated people spent September spreading fear about the safety of our pristine local lake.

First, an admission. Yes, sporadically, usually in the spring, Ward Lake has algae blooms that make swimming unhealthy and unwise.

In early summer, a member of Facebook’s Olympia Triathlon Training Group posted this missive, “FYI, possible but not confirmed toxic algae bloom at Ward Lake.” That’s all it took for lots of people to lose their minds. Rightly or wrongly, I blame the covid pandemic.

Here’s what the County reported about the lake.

So, nevermind that there wasn’t enough algae present to even warrant a sample/reading, and that actual swimmers said the lake looked perfectly fine, an “abundance of caution” took hold to the point that triathlete meet ups were cancelled because “of a potential toxic algae bloom”. That phrase was like a spark that started a wildfire. People repeated the phrase, which acted like a wind whipping up the flames.

Fast forward to yesterday when someone organized a meet up. Then this from another member, “Have you checked their contamination levels – a couple of weeks ago they had high levels and said no swimming. Just FYI.”

Sigh. This is the fire jumping a demarcation line. Despite the County saying very matter of factly that there was NO reading, this person inexplicably lobbed “high levels” and “no swimming” into the mix. What the hell?!

I spent a glorious hour in the lake yesterday morning minutes before this back-and-forth. But maybe my lived experience isn’t a credible counterfactual to the abundance of caution. I don’t even believe in QAnon.

The Village People Had It Right

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It IS fun to stay at the YMCA.

YMCAs are right up there with public libraries as the (dis)United States best hope for not completely unraveling.

In late December, since my Olympia “Y” pool was closed, I visited the Lakewood, Washington “Y”. And today, I swam at the Santa Monica, California “Y”.

Now, the obvious question is why didn’t I swim in Santa Monica College’s Olympic-sized outdoor pool. Two reasons. Most importantly, I’m stupid. Secondly, it was raining, and not having a locker, I wasn’t sure if I could keep my towel and sundry-related items dry. Upon further thought, I’m sure I could’ve stuffed them under a bleacher, so, see reason one.

The results are in. Lakewood GOLD; Olympia SILVER; and Santa Monica a distant BRONZE. The GalPal had the perfect adjective for Santa Monica—rough. So rough, but instead of dunking on the fine people of Santa Monica, let me highlight the things that earn a “Y” the most points in my rigorous reviews and associated rankings.

  1. Cleanliness. No hairballs floating around in the pool or in the sinks or showers por favor.
  2. Showers that stay on. Talking to you Olympia. I work out too hard to also have to punch the shower knob every 30 seconds. And it’s hard to really enjoy your shower when all you can think is “It’s about to cut off isn’t it. Now? Now? Now for sure!”
  3. HOT showers. Not warm. Go ahead, scald me. Promise I won’t sue.
  4. Water pressure. Go ahead, by all means, blast me across the shower floor. See above, I’m not litigious.
  5. Sink facuets that stay on. Talking to you Olympia. . . Briggs and Plum Street. The faster I can shave, the brighter your review/ranking prospects.
  6. Have a large digital clock poolside. This should prob be number one. Ignore this criterion at your own risk. Talking to you Olympia.
  7. Nice benches to sit on, not stools (Lakewood) or short slabs of wood masquerading as benches (SM).

From this foundation, I could get all bougie and add in carpeted locker rooms, sauna and steam rooms, and and and, but then the “Y” might loose it’s greatest asset, its relative accessibility and middle class vibe.