Reading the responses on Twitter was illuminating. Who knew so many other people appreciate Mayne’s unrivaled, irreverent sense of humor as much as me.
Here’s one example among thousands.
At 1:27 Mayne delivers the best sports comedy line of all time, “The engraver uses ‘Skin So Soft’ to remove the name.”
Rachel Nichols on Mayne:
“So many people use sarcasm as a crutch to be mean. @Kenny_Mayne‘s secret sauce is sarcasm as a weapon for compassion, brilliant observations mixed with a sense of wonder & appreciation for the good.”
1. Viewing. American Insurrection. Dear righty friends who have made up your mind that political violence is the fault of radical lefties, in the interest of “equal time”, which counter-documentary do you want me to watch?
For referencing this website. I promise it’s a one-off. This last paragraph is just too humorous.
“‘What gets me is the guts the guy had to just walk in like he belonged,’ said the security source. ‘He must have been a cool customer in the McKay Center. If he hadn’t tried to return punts at practice, he might still be out there because they might not have noticed him.'”
By which I mean college basketball and professional golf. We will return to regular programming once I get this stuff off my chest.
Borrowing from a Dan Patrick Show mock headline, “It Suggs to be UCLA.” Not really of course, the team’s improbable run was the most fun I’ve had watching televised sports in a long, long time. Saturday night I thought we were going to win on the last possession of regulation when Juzang brought it up the court. He opted to get inside, which is understandable even though it didn’t work out. I dig how he mixes up his deadly long-range shooting with mid-range jumpers and lay ups. Juzang, pleaze let’s run it back one more year.
I also thought we were going to win it in double overtime. I thought outlasting them was our destiny.
Wrong and wrong. But I was right about the fact that the Bruins would never quit. The 14 point spread was made by someone who hadn’t been watching them very closely. Thus proving Vegas data nerds can’t quantify heart.
Yes, Suggs’s block was spectacular, but the long distance, high speed bounce pass through the UCLA defense was even more so. As good a pass as you’ll ever see at any level. And then, the presence of mind to know exactly when to release the final shot. Major props to someone who reminds me of a younger Damian Lillard. And major props to both coaches who are team first class acts.
I expect the Zags Baylor to cut down the nets tonight.
Switching gears, how about the first major LPGA tournament of the year won by a 21 year-old Bruin who left school early. Here’s what one golf writer, Dylan Dethier, said about the state of women’s golf:
“Take a look at the ANA’s final leaderboard and you’ll see a game in great shape going forward. A rising star in big-bombing Patty Tavatanakit. Stalwart top guns Jin Young Ko and Sei Young Kim. Generational talent Inbee Park. American stars Nelly Korda and Danielle Kang. And Lydia Ko may be the most fascinating player in the entire game. The next major can’t come quickly enough.”
Another writer asked if Ko’s 62 was the finest round in major golf history. Good question for which I’m sure PressingPause readers have many varied opinions.
Next, a video that will induce laughter from at least one PressingPause loyalist from central Ohio (and sometimes Kentucky). Along with any other bipartisan golf enthusiast—meaning they follow the EuroTour and the PGA Tour.
Lastly, my pick for the Masters. . . another Bruin. . . Patrick Cantlay. Are we still calling it the Masters?
A lot of people my age were enthralled with the idea of UCLA because of the unprecedented success of John Wooden’s basketball teams.
When I moved into UCLA’s “Southern Suites” across from Rieber Hall when they opened in January 1981, I promptly put a poster of John Wooden and his “Pyramid of Success” on the bedroom wall I shared with Johnny Sun from South Pas (Pasadena for the uninitiated). The fact that Johnny moved to the U.S. from Hong Kong when he was 12 is no excuse for what he asked me a few months later, “Who is that on the poster?” “Shit!” I replied, “how the hell did they ever admit you!”
Nine months earlier, at freshman orientation, I made friends with a shy Asian-American student who for our purposes we’ll call “Ken”. As some of us shot hoops, Ken stood at a distance and silently watched. Somehow I ended up chatting with him and we palled around during subsequent activities. In addition, we took a Social Psychology class together our first year, during which Ken napped through a majority of the lectures.
Yesterday, from Japan, Ken one-upped Johnny Sun by asking a couple of questions about the absurd poster that celebrates UCLA’s surprising run in the NCAA tournament. It started innocently enough, “Whose beaming face is on the little cherubs?” But then things quickly escalated into Johnny Sun territory, “I’m glad I didn’t guess. I thought it was Joe Biden (you wrote ‘J brothers’).” And then he brought it home, “So Bill’s name has a silent J in front? Who are the 3 seated? Me thought the center was Justin Trudeau.”
And with that reference to the Canadian Prime Minister, “Ken” is the new leader in the Clueless UCLA Clubhouse (neither of them would get that golf reference).
So for Ken and anyone else similarly flumoxed, a brief explanation.
Left to right, Jules Bernand, Jaime Jaquez Jr., and Johnny Juzang, three of the best players on this year’s team. Thus, the “J Brothers.” The little cherubs. . . Bill Walton, not 46. And for extra credit, note the tiny Mitch Cronin just below and to the left of Bernard.
Ken, because I know you’re going to ask, Mick Cronin is the coach.
I’m far from a Presidential historian, but I can’t help but wonder, has there ever been a more dramatic change in governing assumptions and policies than we are witnessing right now?
After their amazing comeback victory over Sparty last night, is UCLA the prohibitive favorite to win the NCAA championship?
Speaking of the NCAA tourney, is my contingent of the PAC-12 teams plus Gonzaga plus Oklahoma State going to overwhelm Richie’s ACC teams for yet another t-shirt victory?
